Trembling With Fear, I Hit The Submit Button
This action reminded me that there is no dress rehearsal in life.
I’ve been afraid.
In the frantic moments before hitting ‘submit,’ the weight of unedited words weighed heavily on my shoulders. For the past month, I’ve been deeply engaged in a transformative journey with Elephant Academy’s “Write Your Heart Out” class.
This experience has been nothing short of a revelation, awakening a dormant passion within me that I scarcely knew existed.
Each lesson has been a dive into the depths of my soul, unearthing emotions and stories that have been hidden for years. I’m learning to dive into vulnerability.
I’ve learned that life is about showing up as you are with teeth clenched, and a cringing body, and saying, “Here I am, like it or not,” while truly meaning it.
The temptation to perfect every phrase before sharing it with the world is strong, especially when contemplating submission to the discerning eyes of Elephant Journal’s readers.
But here, in this course, I’m pushing myself to unearth the unpolished truths within me, to write from the raw depths of my heart, and to confront the fear that often holds me back.
One of our assignments was to simply write and submit. Raw.
No editing, without having any other eyes on our work. Oh my God, really?
This makes me feel incredibly exposed. To put myself out there, showcasing my raw, unfiltered emotions to the world?
“Yes,” says Waylon, our teacher and mentor.
So, here I stand, grappling with the fear that my article might not resonate with you, reminding myself that life doesn’t offer a practice run. There are no dress rehearsals in life.
I can’t wait until it’s perfect, even after 497 edits, I find myself still waiting (procrastinating) to post my article because it’s not perfect.
It’s not even so much that your opinion matters to me.
Yes, that’s part of it, but the rawest, juiciest part is being seen. So, whether you leave me a lovely comment or “heart” it, it still feels so good to be afraid, feel the fear, and post it anyway.
Because friends, life is not a dress rehearsal. I don’t get to practice life until it’s perfect and then show up. I’ve tried that many times and I failed miserably because I’m never going to get it perfect.
I’ve learned that it’s about showing up as you are, with teeth clenched and a cringing body and saying, “Here I am, like it or not,” and truly meaning it.
So, I take a deep breath and hit the submit button.
Then, right after that, Eileen Caddy’s words popped up on a page I was reading.
“Fear not. Move through the cloud of unknowing into the glorious sunshine and be consciously aware of me and my Divine presence, for I AM everywhere.”
Her words struck a chord. I wondered if this was a nudge from the universe. Caddy’s message made me pause. It felt like a call to embrace faith over fear, a reminder that even when the path isn’t clear, there’s a presence, a guiding force, urging me on.
Could this be the moment to trust my guidance, to find courage in the promise of unseen support?
This perfectly expresses my sentiment towards life’s relentless unpredictability. Can I truly rely on my judgment? Is it possible to trust the world’s inherent goodness to be kind?
Then I heard my inner voice say “Embrace this message, fear not, and fail not to give thanks for everything in your field. Life will be better if you do.”
So, I whispered a prayer and expressed my gratitude, giving thanks for my ability to write and share it with the world.
Before You Go Please
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