Diary: January 19th 2034
I stumbled upon a most curious piece of news this morning. In a measured tone, a female voice announced:
AITIHUN LYNGDOH: This is All India Radio, Nongstoiñ and I am Aitihun Lyngdoh. Donald Trump, the President of the previously named United States, died this morning. The cause is unknown, but it is likely a coronary thrombosis. This marks the end of a most extraordinary presidency. The constitution, formally amended on January 7th, 2025, would guarantee that his son, the Honourable Eric Trump, would be next for office. According to the New York Truth, he is guaranteed to win 99% of the vote. Here with us to explain everything related to the America First Party is its chief spokesperson, Darren Dorler. Welcome, Sir. We are so very grateful to have you and – ”
A man with a heavy accent rudely interrupts:
DARREN DORLER: I have to correct you a bit, He did not pass away from whatever you said. And he ISN’T the president. We got rid of the presidency many years ago. Those bourgeois titles need to be buried with the 300 years or so of Washingtonian plutocracy and Obama-era corruption.
AL: We are deeply regretful of the mistake. What assignations would you prefer?
DD: Well, um, you can start by calling him by his name! He is, after all, the ONLY Donald Trump!
AL: Yes, but what about his Presi – sorry, what about his Rul – sorry, again. What about his administration?
DD: Well, we are the administration.
AL: And by what name would you call your leader then?”
The man thinks for a while, I imagine his brow spiraling to ribbons.
DD: Perhaps, just a leader. Or for you Indians, Supremo, since you love that name.
AL: Well –
DD: On the other hand, I think ‘The Supreme Leader’ seems appropriate – or a ‘Born ruler’ (And lets out a huge phlegmatic laugh)
AL: May I go back a bit, Sir.
In ‘25 congress was dissolved, the senate was temporarily frozen and now you have a 12-member politburo of which you were the earliest constituent, and I imagine a lot of things have changed since then. The America I knew of in my teens doesn’t seem quite relevant to the America we never hear about these days. No more Hollywood or Hamburgers, just silence…
DD: But that’s exactly what the whole world wanted, wasn’t it?!
AL: Right… Am I correct to consider your vice leader, Mr. Samuel Alt, when he said that the country may be running its agenda like the script right off of Stalin? A little over a year ago, your administration decided to intervene the bombing of the Mount Rushmore complex by removing –
DD: Well, I never – (He interrupts again, then thunders) We never removed anything! There is no such vocabulary in our administration. It is just that we decided to ‘REHABILITATE’ the area.
AL: Many apologies. I might add that your country has replaced the many presidential bas reliefs with the cast of your supreme leader. And if Wikipedia were to be believed, it is one of the biggest sculptures in the world – three times the size of Lady Liberty – ”
DD: You’re right there, – if Wikipedia were to be believed – which we are trying to rehabilitate, by the way. Unfortunately, it still spreads lies, and so does the dark web. It is still a nest of vipers and hissing snakes.
AL: Yes…So, it is true then, of what was said about the size and the proximity of the statue?
DD: Well, what else would we have there after we’ve erased 300 years of tyranny!
AL: Right. So, you admit it?
DD: Oh man, you are a piece of work! Let’s just say we – or rather I, don’t deny it.
AL: Well, thank you for that. But may I ask you a few more pertinent questions?
Prolonged silence. I imagine the man nodding his head or rolling his tawny eyes.
AL: So, we’ve been receiving steady streams of Americans coming to our shores. I might add, to the chagrin of our BJP government which believes in Capitalism more forcefully than any country in the world at the moment, but as you yourself can well imagine, we haven’t the necessary infrastructures – “The man chuckles mockingly. She continues: “They’ve become assets of sorts which only time can tell by what degree. Now, with China and Russia as your ally –
DD: No. No. No! There is no alliance between us and China, nor with Russia.
AL: But the Defence rallies, the missile launches on the moon, you mean to say all of that was, in your parlance, ‘fake news’?
DD: Precisely, no one can trust the dark web at the moment. That is why it will never see the light of day in our country.
AL: May we go back again, Sir.
The man gusts out exasperatedly.
DD: Oh, sure…
AL: In 2021, the United States was not only the most powerful country in the world –
DD: IT STILL IS!
He laughs thunderously as though buoyed by the fact.
AL: Yes. But, if I may, it was also the seat of freedom – I mean, all research, all inventions – the dark web or in those days, it was called the internet, developed there by many scientists and engineers.
DD: Scientists and engineers! Tadpoles! Revisionists!
AL: Right…
She mutters ruefully.
DD: Go ahead…
AL: Right. It was the intellectual, technological and economic hub of the world.
DD: IT STILL IS!
AL: Well, we have no idea of such a momentum since much of the USA –
DD: Uh-meh-re-Kuh!
AL: Right. Much of America is inaccessible to journalists or even satellites so we wouldn’t know of its sustained eminence.
DD: Well, believe me when I say that we’ve achieved what some person once called ‘The End of History’ Status.
AL: And what does that entail?
DD: Well, um – Well!
He hesitates for a moment and continues, his nerves seemingly focused on the words that are hovering from his imperceptibly quivering mouth.
DD: We’ve created a society free of employment for one. Free of debts. Free of the so-called ‘democracy’ – the greatest harm to the world since the web. And most of all, free of universities and their uppity opinions.
AL: And are the people happy?
DD: What do you mean “are the people happy”? Of course! – you would be too if you lived in paradise!
AL: Right. One last question and may I be frank, Sir?
DD: Sure. Just, you know, stay within the borders of the press agreement.
AL: Well, precedent suggests four not fourteen –
DD: I’m sorry, what now?
The man sounds genuinely puzzled.
AL: The presidency, Sir – sorry, The Supremo.
DD: I’m not catching the drift –
AL: The terms of the office, Sir.
DD: Ma-am –
He breathes ominously.
AL: Do the people realise that he might be akin to an autocrat – perhaps that is too weak a comparison. Perhaps Stalin –
DD: Ma’am, you can’t judge him like that. Never!
I can hear a few desperate scrapes of a stressed chair.
AL: You mean historically?
DD: I mean he isn’t a run of the mill person like you! He is THE DONALD TRUMP.
AL: But historical. precedence –
DD: That again? Look, we’ve already established that history don’t matter! 300 years of plutocracy is now dead. We’ve demolished all symbols of democracy and Obama corruption and Harvard nonsense and so on.
AL: You’ve even demolished Mount Rushmore to accommodate him and his wishes. Do you think people will forget about that easily?
DD: Ma-am, be careful.
AL: You’ve managed to raise a Billionaire to the status of a God – and I am just not sure what is happening – perhaps the only other antecedent I have in mind is Mao or –
DD: Ma’am, this interview is over. Your government will pay for this treachery!
I hear a few rumblings and microphones being thrown to the floor, a few chairs scraped deafeningly, and the steel door slammed.
And then:
This is the producer of All India Radio and if you’re listening to this, what you’ve just heard were the words of Darren Dohler, the chief spokesperson for America’s supremo the late Donald Trump. The interviewer is our own Ms. Aitihun Lyngdoh.
We regret to inform you that, Ms. Lyngdoh, one of the most intrepid journalists in the last 20 years died of coronary thrombosis a few days ago. She leaves behind a son. And from all of us here in the studio, we bid you good day. Jai Hind.
Diary: July 4th 2044
Another heat wave. Twenty old people died in their homes in Riangdo alone. I wonder how many died in other cities because there is no news of this.
P.S: A few days ago, the podcast about Donald Trump was scrapped and cannot be found anywhere anymore except my memory of it. Even Ms. Lyngdoh’s information is unavailable. Meanwhile, the relationship with America has gone on splendidly according to AIR.
P.S. 2: Taiwan remains a hovel for desperate pictures. Japan, a middling cripple. We are on the brink of an all-out war, and it will be the end of us all.
P.S. 3: I expect the Prime Minister’s chair in my front garden any day now, especially after a plume of smoke the size of the Russian Federation was seen on the far side of the moon. Oh, how I hate the idea and these civilization destroyers who profess they are doing it all for the good of all humanity! We are lost and only divine grace can stop us. Oh, I hope these Emperors of billions enter Dante’s tenth circle!
If there is life out there and watching us – can it be that we are actually in a simulation but that would mean I am somehow important, which I am definitely not, but if we are in one – let someone throw coffee over this madness like a switch off button, never to be switched on again.
