The daughter of a college student was told to stop spending $3,000 a month to support her boyfriend, but she was chided back for not supporting her father!
What should a mom do when her daughter is in a dysfunctional relationship?
A mom posted a question on the forum, asking what she should do when her daughter, who just started college, is in an unusual relationship and spends more than $3,000 a month on an older student.
It’s not that a woman can’t keep a man, but she should do it willingly, not be forced or taken advantage of.
Daughter gets a boyfriend while she’s in college
Late one night, her mother noticed that her daughter was still chatting. She intuitively asked her if she was in love.
When she tried to check her daughter’s cell phone, her daughter immediately deleted all her chats.
This further confirmed the mother’s fears: her daughter did have a boyfriend, and the relationship seemed abnormal.
After some detailed questioning, her daughter confessed that she had developed an intimate relationship with this senior after only three days of acquaintance and that she had paid for all the expenses, including the condom.
This student's underachievement, in the University of mixed life, seems to be accustomed to using his girlfriend to solve their financial problems.
The mother checks her daughter’s passbook and finds that the expenses in just one month are staggering, far exceeding her daughter’s usual spending level.
The daughter admitted that since she met the student, she has taken care of all the expenses, even the cost of the all-you-can-eat restaurant was paid by her.
The boyfriend’s sweet words and promises of a future have left her in a daze, and her mother feels angry and helpless at her daughter’s choice.
She tries to wake her daughter up but is shocked by her daughter’s response.
Her daughter mentioned that her mother was the sole provider of the family’s financial burdens, “Aren’t you the one who pays for our family?”
This made the mother suddenly realize that her daughter’s concepts about love and money might have been unknowingly affected by her family’s financial model.
Mom was forced to pay too, she said:
She said, “Our family is an AA family. It’s called AA, but I pay for most of the things. My husband doesn’t agree with me, so I don’t pay for my children’s clothes. I don’t think my husband would agree with the idea of tutoring the piano. My husband doesn’t like to eat the family meals and doesn’t pay for them. We are invariably making our children think that it is only natural for a woman to pay for a man’s upkeep. ….”.
After a lot of arguments, the daughter decided to move back to the dormitory, and the mother said she wanted to cut off the source of income, but she did nothing.
In the days following this incident, the mother was in deep distress.
She didn’t know what to do and tried to find a way to both guide her daughter and correct her behavior.
It’s really hard for a woman to choose the wrong person for her daughter, and she has to blame herself for it. It’s really important to build up a correct outlook on the three aspects of a child’s life.
It’s not that women can’t keep a man, but they should do it willingly, not be forced or used.
The mother in the article was forced to support a man. Her husband was not willing to pay, so she had to do it herself.
Her daughter, on the other hand, is being taken advantage of. She is just a university student and has not even started earning money yet, but her boyfriend is even willing to use her money, probably because he promises to support her when she gets out of society, which is just like drawing a big cake.
What’s so difficult about having to use your girlfriend’s money to enjoy yourself? If both of you are so poor, why do you have to go to a big dinner? A normal man wouldn’t do that.
But this is also because the mother did not teach her daughter the correct concept of love from a young age. The daughter sees her mother paying for the meal and thinks it’s okay for a woman to pay for it, but she is using her mother’s hard-earned money!
She doesn’t seem to realize that her mom doesn’t want to pay for the whole thing, it’s because her dad doesn’t want to pay for it.
If the daughter is out in the world and willingly pays for her partner, and the boyfriend doesn’t lie to her, then it’s a happy relationship.
There is a man in Japan who takes care of his girlfriends very well and doesn’t spend money recklessly. His girlfriends are so happy to support him that they want to marry him.
Because of the high emotional value he gives, he occasionally earns money to buy gifts for his daughters, does all the housework at home, and takes care of his girlfriends’ emotions.
If you have already chosen the wrong person, you need to teach your children the right way to love, so that they can be happy, rather than letting your low-quality relationships affect your children.
Now, persuasion is useless, can only try to remind them, that if the daughter does not listen to it can not help, when she sees the true face of the boyfriend, will naturally wake up.
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