“R.I.P.” — Mourning the Dead on Social Media
The year 2016 isn’t even half over, but it has already taken the lives of many great people, such as David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Prince. In such times all over the media there is a vast amount of condolences and love expressions for the deceased. Every time the whole media machine is virtually exploding over the news of a celebrity death and social media like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and so on, are filled with messages of grief.
Grief on Social Media
There is something about grief on social media that I find kind of hard to understand. I feel like there was a time, when grief was a private thing. When you were sad, you just were sad. You cried, you mourned, you were angry, you were melancholic. It seems like nowadays there is an obligation to mourn publicly, like it’s a necessity to write something, and if they can’t think of anything contentful people just use “R.I.P.”
The thing which confuses me the most is the inflationary use of the expression “R.I.P.” You wish someone to rest in peace, but shouldn’t this be common sense? If you feel the need to post anything at all, do you think all the grief and sadness over a person’s death can be expressed with three letters? Than why does it seem like the first instinct of many social media users is to write this (e.g. actress Tracee Ellis Ross)? In the end the media doesn’t let them rest in peace most of the time. Speculations over the cause of death, live coverage of the burial and in-depth articles about inheritance disputes.
Why do we mourn publicly?
But to me the most important question is: Why does anyone has to share their grief with the whole world at all? Maybe it is about a feeling of collectivity, of mourning together. They are able to identify other fans and support each other in those hard times. Maybe it helps them overcome their grief by shouting it out to the world. But sometimes when I see a “R.I.P.”-Post I think, it’s all about their image, about showing others how sad they are, how empathic they are — a big self-display (e.g. Cheerios twitter post). Especially if they don’t stick to their words about letting the person rest in peace, which can make me furious.
I can’t answer these questions and I feel as if not even social media users can answer it ultimately, but in my opinion one should at least be able to write more than three letters and the name of the deceased to mourn someone truthfully. If you feel the need to share your grief, maybe write a few more lines. And if you really can’t write anything more than “R.I.P.”: Maybe don’t write anything for once.
