Reflection —Why It’s The Secret to A Better Life
Part 1: The Rat Race
Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Is this cycle familiar to you?
Many of us get caught up in the rat race of life. We never really slow down. To us, slowing down may seem like we’re not making progress and stagnating, while everyone else pushes forward.
To us, progress is EVERYTHING. We wonder about how to improve ourselves attain a higher paycheck, that job, that promotion that’s going to offer us that sweet 30% bonus. Chop. Chop. Chop.
Have we ever stopped to think about what it is we’re actually trying to fulfill?
Have we thought of what it is we actually want from the constant need to be the best?
Have we thought about how this might affect us physically, better yet, emotionally?
Part 2: Reflection as an Antidote
Enter reflection: the age-old adage that seems to be tossed around like some pseudo-self-help mantra every self-help guru SWEARS by. But, in every mantra, lies some truth.
“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”
-Margaret J. Wheatley
Reflecting is NOT the same as rumination. Reflecting is NOT about overthinking the wrongs you did five years ago or even that embarrassing “Dear Intern” moment you had at work today (It’s fine, it happens.)
The most simplified definition of reflection is that it is the act of thinking about finding the positives in the experiences you’ve had and deciding if there was a better way to do it in the future.
Part 3: The Practice of Reflection
Reflection is one of the many ways we can practice gratitude, one of the core tenets of Positive Psychology. They are deeply intertwined like soulmates bonded together for life.
Personally, I started my journey of self-improvement to become a more self-aware and happier individual. I fell down a deep rabbit hole of methods and found that the best method that worked for me was reflecting in a journal.
I started journaling to understand my thoughts and feelings about the world around me. I let myself fall into a state of flow and let my reflections follow suit. I could write anything I wanted and it’d be kept a secret between me and my trusty journal. Aesthetics-wise, the journal became a collage of my life’s experiences and I can also customize it whenever I want and add pictures scrapbook style (how fun!!).
Here’s what five years of consistent journaling taught me:
- Gratitude makes me a happier person. Reflecting daily helped me see the good in my life and I even started reflecting throughout the day, minus my journal.
- You can be grateful and reflect on just about anything. Your house plants, your cute pet, an accomplishment/ compliment at work, you name it!
- There are patterns in life. We all have certain ways of responding to events that happened to us, and writing them down can help us understand ourselves better. We can harness this self-awareness to live a more conscious life and think of how we can react better in various situations. That’s the essence of reflection.
Furthermore, the gratitude that comes with reflecting and journaling is scientifically backed, too. Research by Giada Di Stefano, Francesca Gino, Gary Pisano, and Bradley Staats in call centres demonstrated that employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting about lessons learned performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. (Read till the end to find more resources backing up reflection!)
The power of reflection can be harnessed anywhere. Your brain, your personal journal, or even the device you carry around with you 24/7. Out of the three, logging down your thoughts on your phone seems the most seamless and fun. The apps have prompts and are so aesthetic-looking. It would be a shame for years and years of development by the creators to let it go to waste.
It only takes a few precious minutes of your day to reflect and kickstart the journey to a happier life. Here are some easy ways you can start:
- Integrate reflections into an existing routine
Doing so reduces the mental resistance to reflecting. The more you do it, the easier it gets. For me, I journal first thing in the morning so I could start my day on the right footing, with positivity. I also ended my day by reflecting to update future me on my musings of the day. Some journal prompts I use are:
- I’m grateful for…
- How can I make today great?
- Daily affirmation (see point 3 for why daily affirmations should be part of your reflection)
2. Use music to reflect
Music is such a popular means of destressing, and for good reason. Kari Bjerke Batt-Rawden, Associate Professor at the Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences, Norwegian University of Science and Technology says that “Musical engagement has been shown to help individuals reflect upon and regulate their emotions while also helping to reduce stress and its negative effects.”
Maybe you relate to the lyrics or just like the melody, but it’s good to think about why you like to indulge or resonate deeply with a particular piece of auditory goodness!
3. Reinforce positive thinking with daily affirmations
Affirmations are a powerful tool. It frames your day in a positive light when you say it in the morning and reaffirms your efforts for the day in the evening. Think about it like this: You’re hyping yourself up in the day and thanking yourself at night! Just like that, you’ve already incorporated some form of reflection into your day.
“Your soul needs time for solitude and self-reflection. In order to love lead, heal and create you must nourish yourself first.”
- Linda Joy
Reflection as a part of gratitude forms the backbone for which we enjoy life. Reflection is like the window to your soul. Gratitude is like the driving force that helps the more self-aware you to look at the positives in life (Side note: Negative experiences shouldn’t be ignored, but look at it from the angle of how you can better your actions in future experiences, not beat yourself over past experiences.) Together, they form a powerful alliance to help us take charge of our mental wellness and live better lives.
Reflect. Work. Eat. Be grateful. Sleep. Have a better life. It’s really that easy.
