Habits of a Connection Crusader
I didn’t tell people I wanted to be a Connection Crusader when I grew up. As I got older, I resorted to the unending answer of, “I’m not sure what I want to be.” This rut continued through college and even into my postgraduate life. I wasn’t sure how to put into specific words what I wanted to be. I just wanted to be, well… me.
So, how did I get here and what exactly does it mean to be a professional Connection Crusader? Well, to me, it means tackling the tough challenge of pairing strategy with interpersonal skills to generate robust relationships that inspire positive change within my work family and in our global community. However, this doesn’t always come naturally to me. Thankfully, I’ve found five practices to help me tackle that tough challenge.
1. Putting two-and-two together: In the fall of 2015, I was volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House and a young resident came up to me and handed me his “happy” plate after he finished eating. Instead of ending this interaction with a simple “thank you” I instinctively made a connection with the boy. We happened to both be wearing gray shirts, so I replied to his gesture with, “all the cool kids must be wearing gray shirts today.” I found common ground with the boy, which in turn made it easier for him to open up and talk to me. It has to be instinctive, though. Think on your toes. Is someone reading a book your recently read or ordering the very special drink you always get at your local coffee shop? Leverage that.
2. Be a detective: Invest in uncovering the story behind an individual. Everyone has unique experiences and it’s your job to discover the gems that those experiences have left behind. Come into every conversation with the goal of being relentlessly inquisitive. Besides, people generally like talking about themselves. Try getting someone to open up by simply asking questions about themselves.
3. Don’t overthink it: Think about what you would say to someone if you’ve known them forever. An easy way to do this? Have empathy and try to understand what they are feeling. This can also help you find a common ground and unveil parts of their story (those gems I referenced) you might have missed.
4. Be genuine: I can easily tell when someone is excited to talk to me. It’s also easy to tell when they’re faking it. One way I try to be genuine is to talk about my passions. Doing this gets me genuinely amped up about being in the conversation and hopefully whoever I’m speaking with feeds off of that energy. The goal of this: to make the person feel comfortable to talk about his or her own passions as well. This another opportunity to find common ground. Are there things that I’m passionate about that others are passionate about, too?
5. Start where they are: For some, the energy build needs to be gradual, but that doesn’t mean they can’t warm up to you. Taking people out of their comfort zone is often times a must when trying to build a robust connection, but it might take some coaxing. If they aren’t asking personal questions, it might be because they’re afraid you’ll ask them something they’re not willing to share. At the same time if they get personal rather quickly, challenge yourself to be vulnerable and cater to that.
In reality, we should all strive to be a Connection Crusader. It’s important, especially in today’s society where face-to-face communication is diminishing, to set out with the intention of creating a connections with people that ultimately makes them feel comfortable, important and included. Think about the impact you can make on your community by simply establishing a strong connection with someone.
Insights Empower is a collection of thoughts & insights to inspire, educate and connect the Family Entertainment & Bowling Center industry. From the team at Redemption Plus, est. 2017 🎉
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