Find and Reach Your Purpose

When you feel disillusioned with your future, your reason, your place, your purpose.

Destination Purpose (Credit: Bradley Millar)

So, you are stuck at an intersection. You have been idling for what feels like a lifetime — the horns of others’ progress honking at you as they pass you by.

You are not sure if you will ever be happy again. You are not sure if you know where you fit in. You are disillusioned with your future, your reason, your place, your purpose. The place you currently find yourself in is in stark contrast to the dreams you previously envisioned for your life.

The first thing you need to realise is that this feeling is normal.

Life was never meant to be understood, completely safe or devoid of troubles. That is what makes it a challenge. It is in the darkest challenges that you will experience your brightest victories.

Your anxiety or the fear that comes part and parcel with the unknown is perfectly normal and a sign that your conscious future is busy brewing in your subconscious present. The very exciting thing is that anxiety is often the best indicator that change is upon you. And, unless you are unreasonably resistant to change, an exciting new chapter awaits if you would only allow those winds of change to turn the page for you and carry you into the next adventure.

In short, this intersection you find yourself in front of and this anxiety that invokes a tightening of your grip on that wheel, heralds the perfect moment to sit, take a deep breath, activate your hazards, ignore the passers by, delve deep into your mind and engage in some much needed introspection.

The truth of the matter is you are human. To be human is to explore, to enquire, to engage and to establish. You want the sum of your parts to equal a difference in the lives of others. Or at least you should, because there is nothing more rewarding in this life than to find a purpose that touches the imagination and the hearts of others. If you can help, then you can love, if you can love, then you can grow and if you can grow, you can reach your purpose. In short then, our task on this earth is simply to grow in other people’s hearts through the happiness of finding what brings us purpose.

I have been in the industry of helping people for eight years now. I am the happiest I have ever been and the most at peace I have ever felt since I sat at my own intersection all those years ago. If I could pinpoint my reason for feeling happy it is that with every client relationship formed and with every job done I get a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of gratitude and an overwhelming sense of having contributed my own unique gifts to the betterment of someone else’s life. It has come with its challenges and it has also come with the inevitable duty of sometimes having to put out the fires of those you have disappointed. But it has also come with five additional bonuses of heart-felt happiness, life-long learning, positive pressure, a healthier lifestyle and financial freedom — five things I never take for granted.

I also realised quite early on through the deaths of some special people very close to me that a) life is incredibly short and b) I am no pharaoh and I am not going to be buried with any of my possessions. I promised myself therefore that, for the former, I would never allow myself to be weighed down by negative things or people and, for the latter, I’d not allow too many material things to distract me from my ultimate purpose.

You need to decide on your path and then you need to focus fully on seeing that path through.

Forever Onwards (Credit: Bradley Millar)

In short, you need to take the following ten steps that will greatly impact your ability to successfully find and reach your purpose:

1. Lift the handbrake and ignore the horns of other’s progress — life is not a race and your experiences are your own and not meant to be compared.
2. Engage the hazard lights and let everyone know you are busy focusing on yourself and may need assistance — there is nothing wrong with finding a mentor, asking a friend or family member for advice or taking time out for yourself.
3. Loosen your grip on the wheel of control and perfection — control is a by product of anxiety and nothing is perfect. Just get stuck in without waiting for inspiration — inspiration will rise up to meet you as you get closer to each endgame.
4. Sit still and honestly give thought to what makes you want to get up each day. Who inspires you? What hobbies make you happiest? If money was not an issue, what would your dream job entail? (Money follows passion)
5. Map out the best possible route for your success and then accelerate towards it — put 100% focus into every little detail that lines you up for the finish line.
6. Pop the trunk and dump any burdensome cargo — negative people, overly difficult clients, time wastage, toxic relationships, unhealthy habits — discard anything that will serve as a distraction to you achieving the ultimate levels of success you have only ever dreamed of.
7. Drive into your future with intent and a clear sense of direction (but explore some of the dusty roads off the beaten track every now and then) — if you are going to race towards the finish line without looking left and right, you’re missing some opportunities that could serve to bolster your skill set, unlock other avenues to success or simply provide you with a life lesson you need to learn.
8. Make sure those you are taking along for the ride are comfortable, excited, happy and most importantly, loved — take care of the employees and partners loyal enough to believe in your dream, respect and constantly thank those who have helped you get a leg up and never lose sight of the family, friends and partners who have given you the time and space to follow your passion.
9. Stop to help those who need it — you were on the side of the road yourself once, but do not stop for those who will slow you down or pose a threat to your progress. There is a foolish mentality that by sharing knowledge you create competitors. No one is asking you to give up your secret sauce, but by becoming a mentor to someone else or a go-to guy in your industry you are fostering a following, garnering trust and giving and receiving positive energy which only opens you up to even more avenues for happiness and success.
10. Only look in the rear view mirror if it is to take a quick glance at a lesson learnt in the past — never gaze long enough at it that you find yourself in the wrong lane or forget where it was you were moving towards with such purpose.

As you finally lower the handbrake, rev your engine and gently make your way across that intersection into 2019, I hope you commence it with a smile, navigate it with focus and ultimately reach your true life’s purpose.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

(Bradley Millar is a writer, technology consultant and entrepreneur in Port Elizabeth, South Africa)