How can we build friendships and change the world?
I write about relationships because they are the foundation of mental health, a prosperous society and a sustainable one. Bare for me a moment ... Society teaches us that good romantic relationships are some of the hardest pursuits. Society teaches us that good family relationship are some of the hardest pursuits. Society teaches that friendships are some of the hardest pursuits. Society says a lot of things are hard because we keep failing at these things. Because we keep failing does not mean they are hard. It starts with confidence and compassion. I do not think these are very stable states. Confidence, to not be biased from fear and over analysis. Compassion, to understand and for the other person to know that you genuinely care to understand. There are so many different types of relationships, that the above categories of friendships make little sense. Why are some working relationships often much more successful than friendships? We must look at the general differences, like: expectations and how is time spend together.
All of these things affect compassion and I think compassion is so important for any relationship. We live in a society that does not understand themselves and understands other people even less. We have forgotten art, our medium of communication. Art is expression of honesty about ourselves and people. It can even be a few words about our feelings. So much art these days like music and movies is about acquiring more. Also about sadness and fear, such as machines taking over or rape. Maybe we are sad because our creativity is used to acquire more things vs appreciate what we have and can have. People say that there is not a new way to design a flower or a new motif to write about.
What we do have different from the past is more information. Many people make remixes. We are surrounded my people and cultures, opportunities to make friends. One of the many things I love are mountains and the snow for example. At some point, I grew up with these elements of nature. There are so many other places in the world that have mountains and the snow! There are many beautiful new ways to feel this aspect of nature. That is art. We can hope to connect to this world through compassion and art. The new stories we can write for ourselves or in books are about sustainability and preserving history and art. If you want to hear a story about this please let me know and I will share mine.
In the past, relationships, especially working ones were more stable and because there was more structure around what to do and less expectations. These days the rules are more flexible. We are the creators of our life and society. Even at the fundamentals of science there are no rules. I left my studies of physics when I realized that life and the universe is all a bunch of theories and so I decided to pursue psychology. Psychology also a bunch of theories. At least I could focus on myself and people. The school of psychology is so focused on creating more theories then actually solving problems between people. Stephen Jacobs, professor in game design and open source technology, taught me: "if you want to improve relationships you do not talk about relationships but you create friendships". Psychologist are so focused and children's creativity then helping the other side of the population.
If we want to solve problems we need to try doing something. We have the power to radically change society if we just let more people get to know each other. I see a lot of friendships in my city created by going to bars. People might share a lot about themselves and build some form of compassion. I am not seeing anything that helps connect inspire in their socializing. Inspiration to feel what the other is talking about and imagine. I am not saying bars are bad, nothing is intrinsically bad about bars. People can be inspired by forms of intimacy. Intimacy can really affect a persons inspiration positively and negatively. Maybe someplace in the world bars are a place of inspiration. Why do art studios in my city have to be in such closed spaces, why not in more open spaces, where there is nature, people and more opportunities to connect.
A friend once posted on Facebook that G * d is in relationships. I prefer not to admit this and give too much power to relationships but there is some truth. Friends, people together change the world. Superwoman is not one person. She can not always see all perspectives and always work on everything. I believe that relationships are formed at the basis of mutual compassion. We have to know that purposeful friendships are meant to be, and we will find courage. I tell my friends that the most valuable thing you can do for me is to be making new friends, people who inspire you. I try and do the same. Mark Zuckerberg for example, makes one new friend a day. We need to start sharing our inner truth through sentiments, feeling, emotions, whatever is appropriate for the circumstance; share art. We are in different locations and share the mutual feeling of our city sinking, we are motivated from the deepest of our heart to make a difference. Scientist are motivated to share techniques because they are already in love but are politicians always in love?
