Making a friend? Think about this.

Last week I had two friends say that “ you went beyond expectations” and another one say that “ you helped more then I can imagine.” People I barely knew. I call these new people I know friends and because I try and create friendships in my relationships. I either become friends, not, or I try to suggest a way to find a person that would be more supportive then I as a friend. One of the best suggestions on friendships came from my friend Leah. She suggested that friends should be people who are helping the same people I am helping and providing a somewhat different service to the world.

People dynamic, a lot more then a motor, an animal or plant and because we absorb more information. Expect information from people to change but try to know these thee things from your friends:

1.What is their time like: If they love something they will find the time. It is a good way to know peoples commitment, how much they have their heart into something. If they might have pressure in their life to do something they do not want you might see a decrease in their available time. In this case they will show genuine support, just not a lot of time. Time is precious and so it is important to know how much treasure a person has and how are they using it.
2. How they use their time will affect their skills. Whatever they do a lot of are skills they are building. Know what are your skills first of all. Set aside your ego: what you think you should do and do whatever gives you the most energy. Experiment a bit but fill your time with things that energize you. Try to align this with service, value for other people. Be focused and that means saying no many times and yes to whatever resonates the most from in your heart. Understand your friends skills, what energizes them and help them.
3.Goals and Scopes: have an idea of where people are heading. One of the things that has upset me the most is when a collaborator proposed a plan that clearly dismissed a personal goal. Some things are important. If we can naturally align with others goals, meaning it fits with our own goals then it is a meant to be friendship. the less it aligns, the more it is a friendship doomed. I mean doomed and because there are so many people seeking our attention friendships need to be good. All of those things like what are our friends morals and value are best understood through the narration of scopes and goals, their heart.

Knowing these three things is not always easy but it is very possible. Be genuinely interested, ask questions or let it go. Touch base with people for quality communication and reassess these questions. Likely the answers have not changed a lot but do change somewhat over time. Also, friendship, information gathering and support has to happen naturally.

Try to always show respect. A lack of communication is the greatest disrespect and so try and work on this. Good communication is respect. According to psychologist, respect is the number one factor for relationship happiness.