4 Things to Remember When you Feel Like You’ve Failed
We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt it.
It may be that you put your heart and soul into something (a dream, a project, a relationship) and it didn’t work out in your favor. Maybe you set your creation free into the world, and it fell flat. Perhaps you pit your skills and talents against others, and they outshone you; outperformed you.
Falling short of our own (or others’) expectations can hurt like hell. But the simple truth is that those who have never ‘failed’, are those who have never tried. With that in mind, I offer four important things to remember when you are feeling like you have failed:
You are built for challenge. Society has ingrained in most of us the misguided notion that it is possible to eliminate all risk from our lives. But we are actually designed to face, and overcome, challenge. Just as the greatest social and technological advancements came from societies that faced environmental challenge, your greatest growth, creative expression and evolution occurs when life is rubbing against you in some way. Feeling like you have failed? It’s just an opportunity for you to rise to the challenge.
You were never expected to be perfect. Or, to put it more accurately, you are perfect just the way you are. Perfect doesn’t mean pleasant, it doesn’t mean exceptional and it doesn’t mean you’ll always reach the goals you’ve set for yourself. Remember, your most challenging moments can be the perfect catalyst for change; your most undesirable traits can be the perfect expression of authenticity.
Vulnerability is a sign of great strength. We have come to view vulnerability as a weakness, but being able to show disappointment, sadness, shame … the emotions that naturally arise when we feel we have failed … is an incredibly powerful and empowering characteristic. We all have times in our lives where we struggle with self-worth, validation and our own ideal of success. Remaining truthfully, and sometimes painfully, connected to our emotions at these times can help us be more resilient, aware and open to solutions and opportunities.
There is a bigger picture. Our minds and habits have become very linear — we have learned to set a goal and expect that life, like some universal GPS, will take us on the most direct route to our heart’s desire. All we have to do for this to happen is be good enough, committed enough, talented enough, beautiful enough … But, of course, that’s not how life works. Life does not function in a straight line. Give things time. Hindsight and experience may very well reveal that your “failure” was not a failure at all. Perhaps, it was just a necessary moment of learning, adjustment or revelation on your road to true fulfillment and success.
Kim Forrester is an award-winning author, educator and intuitive consultant with over 15 years’ experience as a professional intuitive and spiritual teacher. She combines cutting edge science with traditional spirituality to offer the latest understandings of psi, consciousness and holistic well being.
