Are You Willing to be ‘Wrong’ to Be You?
What if ‘who you truly are’ is against the rules?
Ponder this a moment: if you had been born in another country, society or century, you would probably see the world in a completely different way to what you do now.
If you had been whisked away at birth and adopted into another culture or faith, you would have grown up with a different view of what is “right”and what is “normal”.
Sure, your personality traits would essentially be the same, and your most authentic needs and desires would still be yours, but the boundaries within which you play out these factors would be different.
You may have been given a different faith to follow. Different manners and social graces. Different ideas of what is, and is not, acceptable behavior. A different perspective on success. Different views on society and the role you, as an individual, play within it. Different views on family, and what your obligations are to it.
Inside your core, deep inside your intangible self where your pilot light burns, you are YOU. It is from this deep well of authenticity that you emit your yearnings, your creative ideas and your connection with something larger than yourself.
But that core, that essence of YOU, is locked inside a neurological maze of rightness, and wrongness, and morality, and obligation, and habit, and tradition and the irrepressible pull of the examples we are shown in our early childhood.
You may be YOU, but you are asked to express yourself according to the societal norms — the rules — bestowed upon you. So much so, that you may have come to regard those rules as right, real, or necessary. Or, most likely, you simply conform to those norms automatically, unconsciously, and mold your behavior, needs, desires and life-goals to fit.
But, here’s the thing. The subtle norms you have learned aren’t “right”. They aren’t real or true, or even normal. Because many of those norms have no consistency. In fact, they are different all over the world, throughout history, and in every facet of our multi-layered society. If you had been born, or raised, somewhere else, those rules that you have integrated into your identity … would be different.
The rules are ‘the rules’ because that’s what was practiced by those around you where, and when, you were born.*
*Disclaimer: I believe the rules that prevent us from causing harm are right, real and necessary. The rules I refer to are the subtle norms that dictate what partner we have, what career we follow, why or when we are allowed to show anger, why or when we are worthy, why someone is — or is not — as valued as someone else in society, how to vote, how to pray, who to pray to …
I truly believe one of the most powerful and liberating things you can do for yourself, is live your life authentically. From the heart. In truth.
In this space, there is no need for rules, or manners, or morality, or politesse. Because when you are being authentically YOU, you tap into an inherent flow of resilience, enthusiasm, compassion and understanding.
When you are living authentically, it feels so inspiring and fulfilling that you want others to feel inspired and fulfilled, too.
But the most powerful thing to understand when you are learning to express yourself authentically, is that there are parts of who you are, or what you want, or how you see the world that may not be aligned with your inherited set of rules. There are facets of you that may not resonate with the people around you. But that doesn’t make that part of you wrong.
If it’s emanating from the core of YOU, it can only ever be right.
It just means that the society where that facet of you is totally acceptable, normal, (or even celebrated), simply exists somewhere or some-when else.
Kim Forrester is an award-winning author, educator and intuitive consultant with over 15 years’ experience as a professional intuitive and spiritual teacher. She combines cutting edge science with traditional spirituality to offer the latest understandings of psi, consciousness and holistic well being.