Challenging Your Cognitive Comfort Zone
Navigating Bias and Belief for Greater Fulfilment
We’ve all heard the advice at ‘crossroads’ moments in our lives: if we’re confused, overwhelmed, or unsure, we ought to just do what feels “right”. Right?
Not always. In fact, without careful reflection, choosing what we think feels ‘right’ can keep us trapped in our well-entrenched comfort zone and lead to ongoing drama, struggle, and unhappiness.
Understanding why certain choices, people, situations, or opportunities feel good to us can be one of the biggest steps toward making wiser decisions. Understanding the difference between what feels ‘right’ and what feels ‘comfortable’ can be a major factor in finding greater joy and fulfilment.
A sense of comfort is widely misunderstood as ‘right-ness’. It is the feeling of familiarity and ease that often leads us down pathways that we have walked before.
The alluring ease of bias and belief
Biases and beliefs play a significant role in shaping our decision making and perception of what feels ‘right’. Biases are ingrained preferences or prejudices that influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions. They are often unconscious and can stem from various sources such as our upbringing, cultural background, personal experiences, and social influences.
Beliefs are the (often deeply unconscious) convictions and assumptions we hold about ourselves, others, and the world around us. These beliefs are formed through a combination of our experiences, values, and cultural conditioning. Importantly, both our biases and beliefs influence our perception of what feels ‘right’ in life by shaping our emotional responses.
This is why we must be careful.
When we encounter information or situations that align with our biases and beliefs, we tend to feel more comfortable, validated, and affirmed. “Ah, yes”, we think to ourselves, “This situation sits effortlessly on me. It doesn’t have any abrasiveness to it and it is easy to comprehend and/or put into action.”
It’s this sense of comfort that is widely misunderstood as ‘right-ness’. It is the feeling of familiarity and ease that often leads us down pathways that we have walked before; compelling us to choose relationships, situations, and/or opportunities that are replays of the ol’ familiar things we’ve done throughout our lifetime.
Want to end up exactly where you are now? Ready to rehash the same ol’ challenges and emotional patterns? Blindly choosing what feels ‘right’ in any crossroads moment is likely to lead you to that very place.
Embracing the discomfort of wisdom
On the other hand, when we encounter information or situations that challenge our biases and beliefs, we may feel discomfort, resistance, or fear. This discomfort arises because our existing beliefs are being confronted, and our biases are being exposed. We are being asked to adopt new perspectives, grow into new versions of ourselves, or stretch our capabilities like never before.
Naturally, we may be inclined to reject or dismiss these opportunities or situations because they feel somehow ‘wrong’. The very real sense of difficulty, confrontation, and unease can lead us to avoid these choices — even if they are more aligned with our deepest desires, greatest personal growth, and/or long-term well-being.
Discerning right from replay
So, how do we know when something is truly ‘right’ for us? That is something only you can know, yourself. However, there are things to reflect on when you’re struggling to find the wisest way forward:
- Prioritise ‘callings’ over all else. If you have a sense of yearning to make a change or grab an opportunity, listen carefully. Life’s callings can often look illogical, irresponsible, or out of character. This is a sign you’re being asked to break out of your comfortable paradigm and expand your sense of self.
- Dismiss anything that feels 100% comfortable. As a natural being, you are designed to evolve, and emotional, spiritual, and mental growth demands that you expand your comfort zone. If you feel ready for it, it’s probably a replay.
- Let go of trying to make the ‘correct’ decision. The wisest decisions can cause initial disruption, upset, or upheavel. Taking the safe road can lead to long-term challenge and disappointment. Life is not an exam where you’re supposed to get anything correct; it’s an exploration where you’re encouraged to live fully and authentically.
- Be discerning with others’ advice. Life has a way of bringing important messages, signs, or signposts to you … and it could be that someone in your world is guiding you toward your wisest choice. Therefore, don’t listen to everyone else’s advice — but don’t dismiss every piece of guidance either! The voices most valuable to you are usually those that make you feel a little uncomfortable, angry, or afraid. What new perspective are they asking you to adopt? Pay attention to the personal experiences of the advisors — someone who has a track record of personal reflection, growth, and transformation could be far more valuable to you than someone who has played it safe all their life.
Profound personal growth and spiritual evolution requires us to surrender to the unknown, embrace uncertainty, and let go of attachment to specific outcomes. Growth and transformation often require stepping outside of our comfort zones and facing the discomfort that comes with questioning deeply-held biases and beliefs.
By trusting our inner-most GPS — even and especially when the pathway forward looks daunting — we can find the courage to step boldly into expanded versions of ourselves, broaden our personal horizons, and invite greater fulfilment into our daily lives.
Kim Forrester is a mother, nature lover, global traveller, holistic well-being advocate, and kindness enthusiast. As an award-winning author, educator and consultant, Kim combines cutting-edge science with spiritual philosophy to inspire holistic well-being and fullness of living.
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