I Need a Year of No

Saying “yes” is not my problem

A couple of years ago, saying yes became really trendy. I knew of several people who were committing to a year of affirmative responses. Here they were climbing Kilimanjaro, dating new and exciting people, learning foreign languages and conquering any vestige of apathy and procrastination. All very inspiring, really.

I, myself, was never compelled to join in the group of merry yes’ers. Perhaps it’s because I am already a natural do-er and tend to throw myself headlong into multiple projects and adventures. More likely, though, my resistance to a Year of Yes was an unconscious self-preservation instinct.

I say yes a lot. In fact, I say yes far too often for my own good.

Can I foster this sad, adorable rescue pup? Sure. Can I share my knowledge at this event? Yes. Can I take on one more work project? Of course. Can I come to this important farewell dinner. Yep. Can I give a friend’s friend a place to stay while she looks for work? No problem. Can I mind this other puppy — just for a week or so? No worries. Can I share my contacts in this particular industry? I’ll get them to you asap. Can I pick up, drop off, become the contact person for, add my input, help out, look after, look for, give some guidance? Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

My willingness to say yes has actually become an addiction to do so. These days, I find myself offering my time, energy, expertise, care, compassion or support, even before I’ve been asked. So, here’s what I need.

I need a year where I am not filling my home, my brain and my time with others’ needs. I need twelve months where my beloved teenagers can speak to me without me saying “I’m busy — can you be quick?” I need time with my husband without discussing the logistics of my upcoming week. I need a year where my personal projects and desires are given top priority, and are not conducted in a scrambling last-minute rush. I need evenings in front of the TV and weekends spent in my pajamas.

I truly admire those who have taken on the Year of Yes. I trust their lives have become incredibly memorable and adventurous. I imagine that the power of “yes” has propelled them into grander, more fulfilled versions of themselves.

But me? I need a Year of No.

Really, even a week will do.

Kim Forrester is an award-winning author, educator and intuitive consultant with over 15 years’ experience as a professional intuitive and spiritual teacher. She combines cutting edge science with traditional spirituality to offer the latest understandings of psi, consciousness and holistic well being.