Such Sweet Sorrow
How to navigate life’s inevitable goodbyes, endings & transitions
Late last night, I put my 18-year-old son on a plane. As of today, the witty, intelligent, inquisitive and compassionate young man that used to live just across the hallway, now lives 3902 miles away.
It’s a day of beginnings in our household … and a day of sorrowful endings.
Of course, change is the foundation of life and, just as we must expect and prepare for new opportunities, pathways and experiences, we must also know how to navigate the inevitable endings of life.
I believe a healthy transition from old into new involves three simple concepts:
1. Be okay with being low: Stiff upper lip. Keep calm and carry on. She’ll be right. We all know the phrases that imply that, if you’re feeling low, it’s best to just toughen up and get on with life. But, if you are dealing with some form of ending, it’s natural and perfectly okay for you to be experiencing a low mood and/or low energy. If you are in the midst of an ending, allow yourself the freedom to feel what you feel.
Note: If your low mood continues or deepens, you become unable to feel joy or happiness, or you develop anxiety or harmful thoughts, please seek help from a trusted medical practitioner. You are precious and deserve to be both happy and healthy.
2. Give yourself a set time to rebalance: If you have just completed something significant — perhaps you have farewelled a beloved friend, sent a child to school abroad or finished a long-term job or project — there will be a very real impact on your daily schedule and, probably, your daily sense of purpose. It’s okay if you want to retreat for a while and give yourself time to recalibrate … just don’t make the break indefinite. Set a timeframe (I’m going to lie low ’til Easter; I’m giving myself six months before I start again) and, ideally, get a family member or friend to hold you accountable. By creating a finite period for personal retreat, you will be better able to make the most of this rest time and you will not wallow longer than is healthy for you.
3. Start again: As with everything else in nature, our lives are often cyclical. So, as tiresome as it can feel, don’t resist the opportunity to start again. As soon as your retreat period is over, take bold steps to create something “new” in your life. This may be as simple as inviting a new acquaintance for drinks, or launching an ambitious new project.
Every human on earth is familiar with ‘new beginnings’, but do remember that every beginning also involves an ending. Most importantly, appreciate that we, as social creatures, rely on each other for support. If you have a child, friend or acquaintance that you know is dealing with an ending or loss, reach out. Be there for them, and help guide them through the healing process, outlined above.
Importantly, if, like me, you are dealing with a painful or uncomfortable transition, don’t be afraid to ask for help, support and/or the valued company of beloved friends. Allow yourself to be loved, and to be nurtured into the new beginning that is, inevitably, opening up on the horizon.
Kim Forrester is an award-winning author, educator and intuitive consultant with over 15 years’ experience as a professional intuitive and spiritual teacher. She combines cutting edge science with traditional spiritual philosophy to offer the latest understandings of psi, consciousness and holistic well being.
