Refusal

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” — Leo Tolstoy

I’ve been studying Joseph Campbell’s myth and the hero’s journey in depth for my upcoming TEDx talk (more below). I have been most struck by what happens when we refuse to be a part of our story — when we deny what it is we have to create, join or connect to. Disaster ensues.

A few examples from favorite stories. In Groundhog Day, Bill Murray is stuck on the same day until he gets over himself. Luke loses his Aunt and Uncle in Star Wars until he accepts his fate. Elsa from Frozen tries so hard to hide her “curse,” and only when she learns to accept it does she live a full and happy life.

To be truly present in your story, you must first accept that it is your story, that you are the one to embark on this journey. Only then, can you move on in your heroine/hero’s journey. How to begin:

• Know your gifts. Whether Hercules super strength, Batman’s ingenuity, or Katniss’ skill with the bow, all heroes have unique strengths which allow them to achieve the unthinkable. As do you. All it takes is knowing what those are.
• Stick to your values. Heroes exist to conquer unknown threats and evil. The line between good and evil is based on what values you hold. Keep those front of mind as you journey, lest you turn into the villain.
• Find your allies. What would Star Wars be without Chewbacca? We are made by the people we choose to journey with throughout life. You’ll meet other heroes along their way, understand how their narrative intersects and supports your own.

*Credit to Sam for supplying the excellent female heroine examples. She also wants you to know that The Amber Spyglass is her favorite book ever, and she’s pissed I chose Frozen instead. But so you know, Lyra has to accept that she needs to seal the door to the other world — can never be with Will ever again — in order to allow the universe to continue to exist.

**And that’s the power of a good story