live life porpoisefully!

living purposefully

Since I was little, I’ve always had goals that I’ve worked tirelessly to achieve. But my goals have typically been academically oriented — graduating from high school and college, getting good grades — you know, stuff like that.

I’ve also had personal goals that I’ve worked toward achieving, relating to a variety of different aspects of my life. For example, I have strived to make friends in new environments, move past personal boundaries and make myself vulnerable to new experiences. These goals are a little more personal, so I won’t share the specifics. You get the idea though — I’ve always had something to work toward.

Now that I’ve graduated from college, I feel like I’m at an awkward crossing in life. I feel more accomplished than I have ever felt, knowing that I have been able to accomplish each of the academic goals I set for myself since I was a wee child in elementary school. But at the same time, there’s a hole in me that wonders, “what’s next?” I don’t have more school ahead of me, and I don’t know what will really define “success”. I don’t know what being “happy” looks like, now that I have nothing really tangible to work toward.

Although my work ethic has become a little more relaxed throughout the past few months, I have always been a ravenous worker striving to be at the top of my game in everything that I do. The journey to the top has always given me purpose, and has driven me to get up and keep doing what needs to be done on a daily basis.

I feel fulfilled and have the foundation for what I believe will grant me success in life, but the path there seems to be more unclear than I could have ever imagined. Does being successful mean advancing my career into a managerial position? Does it mean having x number of my pieces published? Does it mean getting recognition on acclaimed design blogs and from peers in the industry? I haven’t been able to figure out what my next step is, and that is making me increasingly anxious every day.

How do you find passion and motivation in a seemingly mundane life? I feel like I have all the pieces and all the groundwork is laid out for me — I have a great job that I love doing, I’m in a position to advance my career in many ways, I have supportive coworkers, friends, and family — but I feel like I’m merely going through the motions without meaning or purpose. What’s the point of having these things if they’re just what I think I’m supposed to be doing?

Hopefully I’ll soon be able to define goals for myself and find new purpose in my life. Or maybe I’ll discover newfound acceptance of going with the flow. Either way, I’ll come back and share about it here, so others facing the same dilemma as me know that there’s some sort of hope.