One Good Habit Can Change Everything

(for those of us who find it challenging to be self-disciplined)

I recently read somewhere that the easiest way to cultivate a new habit is to attach it to a habit that is already in place. For example, if you brush your teeth every morning (please tell me you do!), and you’d like to start meditating, meditate immediately after brushing your teeth.

Why?

Because your brain is already wired to do one good thing, it becomes easier to piggyback another good thing to your network of neural pathways. Using the momentum of the first good habit supports the development of another good habit.

Speaking of toothbrushing. As a kid, I had an excessive amount of cavities. Year after year, I was told to eat less sugar, brush my teeth after every meal, and floss daily. Did I do these things?

No.

Fast forward. At 37 years old, after avoiding the dentist for about 25 years,
I finally dragged myself into his office and BAM! I needed crowns, root canals, wisdom teeth pulled, the whole nine yards.

Not only did this cost a pretty penny, and put me into credit card debt, but it also wreaked havoc with my nervous system. If you are a sensitive person like me, you know what I’m talking about. Having the inside of your head hammered, crow-barred, drilled and stuffed with toxic chemicals (porcelain crowns still require glue) jars your nervous system … profoundly.

AND STILL, I returned to my old habits, unable to find the motivation to floss my teeth, the one deciding action all my dentists agreed would control the self-destruction taking place in my mouth, EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO.

The title of this essay is One Good Habit Can Change Everything for two reasons.

1. For people like me, who find it hard to get motivated and stay motivated, doing just ONE thing is far easier than trying to transform ourselves in several ways at once. (Ideally, I was supposed to use mouthwash,
   a water-pick, floss and brush after every meal. Flossing was a good first step.)
2. When you actually manage to add one good habit to your daily life, EVERYTHING improves. There is a positive ripple effect throughout your entire body due to the integration of better self-care. And that leads to more motivation to implement the next good habit.

Desperate to avoid future dental debacles, I confided the whole mess to my psychotherapist and heard myself blurt out,

“I am SURE that if I would only floss my teeth, my WHOLE LIFE would change for the better.”

Really? Flossing would transform my entire life?

My witness, an understanding psychotherapist who was interested in deeper meaning, listened respectfully and took me seriously. His attention spawned an insight: my mind leapt to the understanding that flossing represented self-love which naturally generates the motivation for self-care.

The missing ingredient in my ability to take action had been an inability to take my own needs seriously. (It’s okay with me if you blame my parents.) When my therapist re-parented me in this department, something inside me broke out of the feedback loop of self-neglect.

AND THAT, my friend, was the turning point!

After my therapy session, I went straight to the pharmacy and purchased dental floss. That night, I flossed. The next morning, I flossed. And I’ve pretty much been flossing ever since. Enthusiastically! My teeth feel fuzzy when I don’t. I prefer the sensation of running my tongue over polished enamel.

Did my life change? It most certainly did.

My gums stopped bleeding. This gave me courage to return to the dentist for regular check-ups. The dentist gave me kudos! I moved into a reward cycle. This built my self-confidence. I achieved a whole new level of self-love and self-care. And then something even better happened …

One day, I scheduled a Feldenkrais session to address some back problems. At the end of the treatment, I asked if there was anything I could do on my own to reinforce the therapy between sessions.

Frania Zins, the brilliant Feldenkrais practitioner who treated me, taught me that running my tongue around each of my teeth slowly and thoroughly would release my spine.

It was extraordinary. I would lie on her table and while I waited for her to begin, I would trace my teeth with my tongue and feel my vertebrae lengthen as my back muscles released and relaxed.

As my back improved, I happily returned to my busy life and forgot all about Feldenkrais. Until I added oral irrigation to my dental hygiene.

At my quarterly cleaning, the oral hygienist (who was fresh out of school and full of beginner’s zeal) recommended a little-known product called “Shower Floss” that I could get at the local Ace Hardware store. She said it was really a water-pick that you attach to a shower head, so you could spray and splash to your heart’s content without spattering your bathroom mirror!

I ran out and got me some “Shower Floss”! To my surprise, as I ran the water carefully around each and every tooth, front and back, I felt my back completely relaxing and elongating. Feldenkrais!

Strangely, dental care had become pleasurable … something I actually looked forward to. And my back thanks me every time I floss.

Yes, one good habit can change everything. Because it is the foundation to build another good habit upon. Don’t tell me you don’t have even one good habit. You must have some routine that you can piggyback another good habit onto … actually, maybe the first habit just needs to be habitual, whether it is good, bad or neutral. Your morning pee or cup of java might do the trick. It’s worth a shot. The effect can be exponential.

In my case, flossing led to self-love. Self-love led to self-care. Self-care led to Feldenkrais. Feldenkrais led to shower flossing (the mastery level of dental hygiene), unexpectedly resulting in an alignment of my spine. An aligned spine promotes a healthy nervous system. Healthy nervous systems deliver relaxed alertness, good concentration and creative flow. Which leads to inspiring (I hope) blogposts.

In the comments, please share a wannabe good habit that you’re considering piggybacking onto an existing habit. You have my support!

Love, Amy

P.S. BTW, Bill O’Hanlon wrote a book you might find useful, called Do One Thing Different.

The cat’s out of the bag. Reverend Amy Torres is a spiritual teacher with
a colorful past … which comes in handy when coaching clients in need of non-judgmental understanding, wise guidance, and a touch of mysticism. Scroll down if you’d like help developing one good habit … and please click the 💚 to share.