5 Ways for Principals to Get to Know Their Students
A Guide for School Leadership
It can be difficult for school leaders to form the types of relationships with individual students that classroom teachers are able to develop throughout the course of a school year. As a principal, you may have hundreds of students in your building, and you certainly don’t have time for one-on-one conversations with each student every day, every week, or perhaps even every month. Fostering trusting, respectful relationships with your staff is already a tall order, and leading a learning community certainly fills a workday.
But for many educators, getting to know students and watching them grow is what makes all the sacrifices of being an educator worthwhile — and as a leader, those individual relationships collectively make up your school culture. For the benefit of your community, your students, and yourself, here are a few ways for principals to form meaningful relationships with students:
Be Present in Shared Spaces
It’s more than just being in the cafeteria for fifteen minutes during lunchtime — it’s about being present, sitting down with students, and engaging in the conversations they’re already having. You’re on their turf, so let them take the lead! Listen and learn about what brings them joy at school and what causes them stress. Ask thoughtful questions and provide encouragement. There’s so much to learn about your students in those unstructured, casual moments in communal spaces. Take one or two days a week to be fully present in the cafeteria, playground, common room, courtyard, senior lounge, or library to foster natural, authentic relationships with students.
Get to Know Your Town
To know your students, you also have to know the communities in which they’re learning and growing. Becoming familiar with your students’ home cultures and the challenges your community faces is critical to understanding your students. Children are impacted by the worlds of the adults around them, and the culture of their communities is inevitably reflected in your school culture. A heightened awareness of what students are going through outside of school — or what they may be watching their parents and neighbors go through — will help you adjust your response to shifts in school culture.
You can also get to know your students by working to understand the individual cultural differences they bring to your school, and how those differences impact their experience in the classroom. For example, if there are Native American students in your school, educator Jackie Cope provided a few insights into important cultural differences in this post. Or, if there are several multilingual learners in your school, consider how you could make a special effort to connect with their families using the strategies educator Melody Johnson outlined in this post.
Steve Loori, a former educator who now works at McGraw Hill, put it this way in a blog for new teachers:
“Get to know your community because you will be a part of it whether you are engaged in it or not. Kids talk to their parents, parents talk to other parents, parents talk to other teachers — give them something good and exciting to talk about.”
Cheer Your Learners on from the Sidelines
When possible, attend games, concerts, shows, readings, clubs, and performances to show support and understand the various outlets your school offers that help students thrive outside of the classroom. Again, it’s not enough to just be there. Chat with students so that they know you acknowledge and value the work they put into their extracurriculars. When you get the chance, talk to them about why they enjoy these activities, what they learn from them, and how they factor into what they want to be when they grow up.
Don’t limit your attendance to the higher-profile events in your school, like football games or theater performances. Drop in on smaller events, too, the ones where the only other onlookers are a few parents. Letting those students know that you admire their work, especially when their competitions or performances may not receive much attention from their peers, could prove deeply valuable to your relationship with them. It will also help you understand your student body more collectively and give you a powerful line of sight to a quieter, perhaps less easily visible set of students, and an opening to discuss their hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Teach for a Day
If you really want to get to know your students, make some time to get back into the classroom and watch them learn in real time! If possible, schedule individual breaks for your staff and sub for a class period or lesson. Spread them out over the year so that it isn’t too disruptive to your day job (as if you weren’t already busy enough!) and enjoy the time with students. As a bonus, the experience could provide a refresher on the day-to-day realities of the classroom that your staff are navigating.
Here’s a principal’s perspective on getting back in the classroom:
Be Authentic
Finally — be yourself! If you want your students to be comfortable bringing their authentic selves to school, model it by being yourself around them. Let them get to know some “human” things about their principal that they can relate to (or laugh about, because let’s face it, school leaders can’t take themselves too seriously). Manage conflicts with an open mind and approach even the most difficult students with an open heart — but not in a way that entirely disowns your own experiences and perspective. To know that a real human, who may have felt what they’re feeling now, is supporting them through a challenging time, will mean the world to your students.
For advice and reflections by and for school leaders, explore the articles in this collection.
