A Playbook for Gratitude

By Angela Duckworth and Giacomo Bono

Published as a part of a collaboration between McGraw Hill and Character Lab, where this piece first appeared. Character Lab advances scientific insights that help kids thrive (you can watch a short video here). By connecting researchers with educators, Character Lab seeks to create greater knowledge about the conditions that lead to social, emotional, academic, and physical well-being for young people throughout the country.

“Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!”

— Lin-Manuel Miranda, Hamilton: An American Musical

Why does gratitude matter?

When you feel gratitude, you feel a sense of abundance. When you express gratitude — especially when it’s heartfelt — you strengthen your relationships with others. Grateful people are happier and more fulfilled. And gratitude leads you to be nicer to other people: more cooperative, patient, and trusting.

Pulse Check

Think about how your day is going. How many of these things are true?

• I said “thank you” to someone.
• I did something nice to show my appreciation.
• I can list lots of people and things that I’m lucky to have in my life.
• I noticed when someone helped me.
• I felt a sense of thankfulness.

How do I encourage gratitude in others?

Model it. Talk about the good things that happen to you: “I love this gorgeous spring day!” Reframe difficulties by highlighting positive aspects: “Work has been stressful lately, but I’m grateful that my boss trusts me with important responsibilities.”

Celebrate it. Acknowledge when someone demonstrates gratitude: “It makes me feel really great when you thank me for what I am doing.” Display thank you notes you’ve received where others can see them. Post Three Good Things on social media.

Enable it. Keep stationery handy for writing thank you notes. At dinner, make it a habit to begin by sharing one good thing that happened that day. Establish a birthday ritual to write notes of appreciation.

About the authors

Angela Duckworth is the Founder and CEO of Character Lab. She is also the Rosa Lee and Egbert Chang Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, faculty co-director of the Penn-Wharton Behavior Change for Good Initiative, and faculty co-director of Wharton People Analytics. Her first book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, is a #1 New York Times bestseller. Follow Angela on Twitter @angeladuckw and the Character Lab @TheCharacterLab.

Giacomo Bono is a professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills. He has a Ph.D. in social psychology from Claremont Graduate University and has extensive training and work experience involving research in health, positive psychology, youth development, and school and community programs for youth and families. He is the co-author, with Jeffrey Froh, of Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character. Follow Giacomo on Twitter @Giacomo_Bono.