How Can Teachers Foster Strong Relationships with Students?

By Mary Catherine Holcomb, Educator

Be sure to read part one of this series on why student-teacher relationships are important.

“I like your smile. Your teeth are so clean like the water in a waterfall. I am so grateful that you are my teacher because you explain new topics in an excellent way.”

One of the joys of teaching: random student letters that you will cherish forever.

We all know the significance of developing strong and positive teacher-student relationships, but do we know how to start?

Recently, my school started using formal surveys to monitor our students’ well-being. To give you an example, one of the sections focuses on attitude to teachers. I know, I can practically see you all flinch as you read this. However, even though this may bruise a few egos — it shouldn’t. These surveys can allow us to use the data and begin to repair or grow stronger relationships with our students in a comfortable classroom environment.

And that’s what we want. For a student to feel comfortable with us — because if they don’t feel comfortable with the person teaching them, they won’t be able to learn.

Fortunately, our school has realized the importance of these well-being surveys, and even though we won’t be able to do the formal survey more than once per year, because these things cost money, our well-being team has created informal surveys for us to use throughout the year. You can do the same, too.

By using an easy-to-use platform like Google Forms, you can create a simple survey with questions ranging from “Teachers explain concepts well to me,” and “I feel comfortable asking for help,” coupled with answers like “strongly agree” or “disagree.” Remember to create questions that work for your students.

By using these surveys throughout the year — beginning, middle, and end — you can monitor students’ well-being and do something about it. Yes, your students will have bad days, so maybe these answers won’t always be perfect, but these results may indicate a pattern that you didn’t see before, which could be hindering academic growth.

So, what do you do with the data from your surveys? Well, you can begin by using a few strategies mentioned below that anyone can use. After using these for some time, you can then use another survey to see if what you are doing in the classroom is actually working.

Things I Want My Teacher to Know

One of the most valuable tools I started using more of is letter writing, specifically “Things I Want My Teacher To Know” letters from my students to me. Since it’s a letter between you and your student, they are more open. If you have more than one class, designate a box or an area where students can drop letters to you. One of my students wrote how he “just feels sad at times but not to worry about him because he’s ok.” Well, finding this out was obviously very important.

Following more observations and realizing his parents noticed it too after conversations, he is now getting extra help outside of the classroom. But I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t looked just a little bit deeper. But the most important thing with these letters is that you need to reply. I told one of my students that she makes my day when she tells me good morning, and there has not been one day after that where she hasn’t made sure to tell me good morning because she now knows how much it means to me.

Student Affirmations

Now we won’t have the time to read and write letters each day, but we can read little notes. We can give approval to our students during random times or we can lead student shout-outs — where students share something positive about a classmate. But don’t stop there with the students. Communicate these random affirmations through emails or personal conversations with parents. They will most likely tell their child, and then they will know their teacher is paying attention.

Pay Attention and Show Interest

When you’re paying attention, you’re showing interest. Perhaps you find out that a student has a passion for football or for learning about random war facts. Well, ask if he or she can share their passions during free moments in class, or even direct your student to a club at school to show it off.

I have a student who is filled with random facts and we have a Fun Fact Friday where just for a few minutes he tells us all about what he has learned. And maybe that interest of his earns him the title of subject ambassador. For example, perhaps he can use his knowledge and love for history to assist classmates during history lesson activities. This will give those students a sense of empowerment and responsibility in the classroom.

Now, let’s get back to the letter from the beginning that you most likely have questions about: “I like your smile. Your teeth are so clean like the water in a waterfall. I am so grateful that you are my teacher because you explain new topics in an excellent way,” which was signed by my student and his dog.

So, he is a fan of good dental hygiene, which is always a plus, and you’re probably wondering how his dog snuck into the letter.

Throughout the school year, he always talked about his dog and constantly included him in our writing assignments. When I was traveling, I saw a restaurant with his dog’s name and naturally, took a photo of it and showed him the next day. He just couldn’t believe that I remembered his dog when I was “out in the wild.” So, now, I don’t get cards signed by just him, but also by his dog.

When students let us into their world, and we let them into ours, a magical event occurs: the walls break down and relationships are able to grow and to be nurtured. It only takes a few small steps to break down those walls to show them you are committed to their growth, so that positive results can occur not just for your students but for you, too.

Mary Catherine Holcomb has over a decade of experience in international and diverse educational settings and experience as a broadcast, print and online journalist. She began her educator journey as a third-grade writing teacher in Houston, Texas by combining her passion for writing with her love for teaching. Since then, she has taught internationally in Tokyo, Japan and Milan, Italy while still utilizing her journalism background as a writer for a lifestyle publication in Italy. Mary Catherine has a strong desire to help others, which is evident not only in her chosen profession but in her years of volunteer experience with at-risk youth in a variety of after-school programs and leading writing classes to female inmates.

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