How to Help Students Develop Self-Compassion
By Kerrie LaRosa, Parent Coach and Clinical Social Worker
As parents and educators, we are highly focused on encouraging students to demonstrate kindness and empathy to others. But, did you know that in order to be the best person for others, students need to have self-compassion? When students can show themselves empathy, kindness, and patience they will not only perform better in school, but they will have an easier time empathizing with others. In order to develop empathy for themselves, students need to be in an environment where they receive empathy, unconditional support, and validation. Within that environment a student can practice mindfulness, emotional regulation, and self-acceptance.
For a set of free resources to practice empathy, including printable self-compassion posters for the classroom written by Kerrie, visit:
What can you do in the classroom or home to encourage self-compassion?
Provide Unconditional Support. When a student is doubting themselves, they need others to show they have confidence in them. Communicate your confidence in them, offer support without solving the problem for them, and then give them space to complete the task on their own.
Accept Mistakes. Respond to mistakes (even careless ones) with patience and empathy. Reframe mistakes as an opportunity to learn and share stories of what you have learned through your own mistakes.
Emphasize Process over Product. Remind yourself and your students that the point of education is to learn, not to earn the grade. When focused on the process of learning rather than the grade, students absorb more information, acquire more knowledge, and improve performance.
Listen and Validate. Stop and listen to what a student is trying to communicate and then validate their concerns. When a student feels heard and understood, they can regulate their emotions and practice self-compassion.
Foster Mindfulness. Allow your students an opportunity to slow down, focus on the present, and be intentional about their goals for your class. When mindful and intentional, students utilize their prefrontal cortex which prevents emotions from overwhelming them and impeding learning. It also provides access to their emotional regulation strategies, which is necessary for self-compassion.
Encourage Self-Acceptance. Encourage students to reflect on what they learned through their mistakes, to practice accepting that mistakes are part of the learning process, to forgive themselves and allow themselves to move forward, letting go of past setbacks.
To download a set of free resources to practice empathy, including printable self-compassion posters for the classroom written by Kerrie, visit:
Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach, clinical social worker, and mother helping parents connect with their children, enhance their relationships and improve their parenting skills. You can connect with Kerrie at www.larosaparentcoach.com and on Facebook at LaRosaParentCoach.
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