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4 Secrets I Use as a Married Business Woman to Maintain Balance in Life

What are your priorities?

Picture credit of @brazhyk on Freepik

After 5 years of friendship, I married my best friend, my teammate.
We have been married for more than 10 years. Every time we pass another year, we looked at each other and can not believe the time has passed so fast.
I challenge myself every day to feel like an extraordinary woman.
I want to help other women feel the same.

Some friends and family asked me, how did I do that? How do I have so much time for everything? How do I balance a career and a happy marriage?
So, here they are, let me share my secrets.

1.SELF CARE

“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.”
― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

It sounds cliché, but I mean it.

Being an entrepreneur while you have to deal with being you, being a good daughter, a wife, and a mom is not that easy.

I struggled with keeping the balance between all the roles, and I must say, I learned a lot from my mistakes.
I grew apart from my husband when our business was growing so fast.
On the journey, doing self-care saved my marriage, and I can see how it even affects my children’s happiness.

I love the idea of having a great relationship, being a fun, loving mother, and growing a successful business!
To be able to do that, I encourage myself to make time for myself every day.

I found it is easier for me to do it in the morning while everyone else (especially the kids) is still asleep.
I’ve always loved my morning routine. I enjoy the quiet time and cold fresh air.
By doing what I love first will make me feel good and win the day.

Self-care for me also includes taking care of what I put into my mind and my body. I avoid negative news, negative thoughts and consume only positive things. I take care of my body by exercising and good nutrition.

2.Know your limits; rest when you feel tired.

“He who hesitates is lost.”

―Joseph Addison

When I’ve rested, my mind becomes so clear, and I can think before I speak.
I tend to see positive things and see the solutions to all problems I’m facing.

In that old Indian proverb, “A healthy person has thousands of wishes while a sick person only has one.”
We need to win our health before anything else.

Putting ourselves first will satisfy us. We no longer feel that we sacrificed our needs to make others happy.

As my son said to me the other day, “a happy you will make a whole house happy too. How can we always make you happy, Emme*?” (Emme means mom in Estonian)

Yes, I realized it, too.

To be a good wife, a good mother is important, but first, be the best version of yourself! Be so good that you don’t even recognize the new you! Be the best version that makes you admire and adore yourself!

And to be able to do all of that, we need to know when to REST.

Know your limit also means know when to say YES or NO.
Saying “I hear you” or “I am ok” when you were not is not a solution.
Being honest and talk about it respectfully is the key to my happy relationship.

3.Dare to “FIT-OUT.”

“Be you, love you. All ways, always.”
― Alexandra Elle

Be different, be unique, be you.

5 years ago, when we started our business, I looked for all the possible ways to explain our mission. One of them was the way to stand out by being you.
I remember I saw a better way to write unique and beautiful — You-nique, Be You-Tiful and I fell in love with it.

I kept telling myself that one day, I want to encourage women to be confident being themselves.
I want to encourage women to push themselves out of their comfort zone, to be their best version.

For me, self-acceptance is not only accepting yourself or the way you look. Self-acceptance also means doing something to make you proud of yourself, even if others may not be happy about it.

Whenever you find yourself sighing, feeling that something is missing in your life, and you know that you can do better…Take action and do something about it!

Look at the mirror.
What do you see, and what did you say to yourself?
Do you feel that you should have a better shape? Could you add more nutritious food and exercise into your life?
Are you feeling as healthy as you’d like to be?

If not, do something to make you feel at your best!
Others may say something different, but you need to listen to yourself.

Being a wife doesn’t mean that we have to ask our husband’s opinion on everything. I always want to wow myself, and I do whatever makes me think that I will love myself more. I enjoy loving myself.

My husband treats me as a strong, independent, mysterious, sexy, and smart woman. No wonder he keeps telling me that time flies; being with me is never boring.

In a blink of an eye, we have spent 15 years together, and the day we first met feels like it was yesterday!

Dare to fit out also means dare to say no to the friends that bring you down all the time. Say no to negative news and negative people. It’s a potent tool that I use, and it changed my life. I started to spend my time wisely with the right people. I no longer listen to the blamers and judgers, no more spending time gossiping.

Have you noticed there are two kinds of people surround you? One kind is the people that will always lift your mood, give you positive input and support your growth. The other kind is the people that will always say, “meh!!! Don’t do that; you can’t do that because… or it won’t work!”
They’ll make you doubt yourself and prevent you from taking action.

It would be best if you decided which environment do you want to be in.

Ensure you know where you want to go, learn from the people who have been there, focus on your happiness and take action!
You are the director of your life, and the key to your happiness is in your hand!

4. Invest In Yourself

“Invest in yourself to get the best interest.”
― Debasish Mridha

There will be a time when you feel stuck, either in business or feeling something is missing in your life. You don’t have to feel ashamed about it.

Stop for a while, feel the blessing, be grateful for what you’ve achieved.

Ask yourself, where are you going and who do you think has already been there, who can lead you to the path?
You may think that asking someone you know, like your family or friends, will be easier because you know them and trust them.

In my experience, the advice that they gave me was mostly based on their love for me. They wanted to protect me against failure or making mistakes, and sometimes it led me to do nothing. I felt stuck; I felt so exhausted! I couldn’t focus and couldn’t do the most important thing needed to grow myself and my business!

By the time I got the anxiety disorder, my husband had encouraged me to find the answer I was looking for. I went to the silence meditation for 7 days, and for the first time in my life, I felt so clean and clear!

I told myself that I need to love myself more. I need help to grow. I need to work with someone who has been to the place that I want to go to. I fall in love with the idea and start from that day, I work smarter, and I keep seeing the miracle in my life. It was there before; I couldn’t see it. I was too blind with my busy mind.

If you want to see the progress, start asking the right people the right questions. Think about “The WHO” The one who can help you achieve your goal faster.

Forget about being a perfectionist (Yea, right, if you asked my husband, he will tell you how perfectionist I was before I know this secret.)
I wanted to do everything by myself because I couldn’t believe anybody would put their heart into my project as much as I do! But it led me to procrastination because I was so tired of doing everything all by myself. I kept learning new things every day to become “perfect.” Now I have understood however, that practice makes progress, not perfect. There is an important difference there.

The more I invest my time and money in myself, my growth, the more confident I become as a person, a wife, a mother, and an entrepreneur.

Keep looking for your happiness, and work towards it. Never regret anything that has happened in your life. Believe that everything happens for a reason!

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Sylvia Silvers (aka Sylvia Astuti Gunawan)

Sylvia Silvers (aka Sylvia Astuti Gunawan)

Hi, I’m Sylvia Silvers. I motivate and inspire people to unlock their best version. I am a maverick, a learner, and a dreamer!

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