4 Things That Mindfully Mature People Practice
Everyday changes that make a big difference
Mindful maturity requires an element of letting go and evolving, of change and adaptation.
It requires the ability to see things simultaneously as a bigger picture but also as a product of the present moment. To not live with anxiety about the future, or longing for the past.
Mindful maturity is a level of growth that takes time, development, and deep understanding.
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” — Robertson Davies
There is not a “one-size-fits-all” solution to becoming mindfully mature. Every person is an individual, and we all take different paths on our journeys. But there are some common practices that those who have achieved mindful success regularly put in to practice.
When I talk about “mindful maturity”, what I’m referring to is those who have adapted to understand the art of non-dwelling and the acceptance of inconsistency. Here’s what they look like in practice:
Non-attachment
None of these things are any more or less important than the others, but there is a reason that I talk first about the art of non-attachment. I say art, because there is a certain level of beauty found in an ability to practice non-attachment in all aspects of your life.
It’s essentially the ability to embrace what comes to you, but also (and arguably more importantly) the ability to peacefully let go of that which is no longer serving you.
Non-attachment means coming to terms with the difficult realization that some things are not meant to be yours forever. In fact, when you think about it, very few things indeed actually belong to us for a long period of time.
The nature of our existence is that most things, both good and bad, come and go.
They grace us with their presence, and then they leave again. It can be a very painful lesson to learn, but it’s also a vital one. Keep with you the lessons that are bestowed upon you, but don’t become overly attached to the things or the people that bring the lessons.
That doesn’t mean that we can’t fully love someone or something. It simply means that we appreciate it for what it is, for the time that it is with us. And when it is time to let it go, we do so without bitterness or regret.
Gratitude
The moment I chose to fill out a daily gratitude journal was the moment I actually understood the gravity of gratefulness. There is immense power and positivity in truly understanding what you have to be thankful for.
Often, until you muse on these things deeply, there can be times when it may not seem like you have much to be thankful for. But there is always a reason to be grateful. Practicing daily gratitude brings with it the gift of positivity. It’s a way of telling yourself that no matter what you go through, things could always be worse. It’s also a way of retraining your brain to focus more on the good aspects of a situation than the bad.
If you regularly practice gratitude, and you make it a part of your daily routine, you’ll gradually find yourself starting to naturally see the bright side of situations without consciously having to try. This shift, in and of itself, is a step on the ladder towards mindful maturity.
Positive Thinking
The umbrella term “positive thinking” tends to put a lot of people off, because it brings with it this distinctive connotation that you can fix things if you just “think’ happy.
But that’s not necessarily what positive thinking should or does mean. It’s more so the art of retraining your brain to think positively instead of negatively.
You see, the human mind is often adapted to think the worst. We see this in our everyday lives, we constantly think “what if something bad happens” or “what if this turns out for the worst.”
Chronic negative thinking creates huge amounts of stress, and not only that, but it actually changes the lense that we see the world through.
A negative mindset can beget negative outcomes without the knowledge of the thinker.
While this is depressing to think about, there’s also good news. Because if you can create negative scenarios through negative thinking, you can, by turn, also create positive scenarios through positive thinking.
Practice the Art of Being Alone
In order to properly talk about this one I need to make one very clear distinction between aloneness and loneliness. They may initially appear to be the same thing, but they’re actually very different. Being alone and being lonely are almost opposites.
Being alone is being comfortable enough with yourself to not desire the presence of other people, being lonely is a discomfort with yourself that makes you crave the presence of other people.
Two very different experiences.
Mindfully mature people have mastered the art of being alone, but not being lonely. They have become so comfortable with themselves and who they are that a lack of others’ presence no longer bothers them.
When you can truly say you are comfortable with being alone, it doesn’t matter who comes and goes from your life anymore. You can enjoy the presence of another, and when they leave, you can value and cherish the things you did together and the lessons they taught you without feeling sad or worried about being lonely. Because you no longer need other people to feel whole, you can feel whole just by being alone with yourself.
“Wherever you are, be there totally.” — Eckhart Tolle
