Friends Have Never Been More Important
The roller-coaster of give and take in day to day relationships
I consider myself in the main a good friend, I answer messages promptly, I’m usually available socially, and a reasonable shoulder to cry on, and aside from my dour demeanour, I have even been known to be fun.
My wife always claims I collect friends, keeping in touch with previous colleagues, old school friends and someone I once met in a bar over twenty years ago…It happens to be the worlds best and yet worst holiday romance.
We still message and call all these years later, he in Vancouver and me eight hours ahead in the UK.
I have friends as we all do for different reasons, ones that I bounce ideas off, some that I go to sporting events with, and some that I only see now and again but when we meet, it’s like we were never apart.
I’m sure this is the same for all of us.
Friendships drag us out of the darkest times, a call out of the blue when you’re feeling down from a friend can be the lift you need to get you through another tough day.
We have friends who can stop us making fools of ourselves, let us know when that bright yellow hat is not your thing or that your tales of achievement are getting a little too boastful.
Good friends are hard to come by goes the saying, and I believe in the main we all know it to be true.
We spend our formative years in school making friendships that we hope will last us a lifetime.
As we progress we cast some friendships aside, perhaps a falling out over a prospective girlfriend, moving out of the neighbourhood, or even just a plain old difference of opinion.
During our lifetime and the journey through school, college and work, we get fewer opportunities to make friends and so the bonds with those who have now become life long friends become all the more precious.
OK, we have the idea of a good friend, perhaps we can look together at what makes a bad friendship.
There are friends we keep separate from each other, different social circles require different friends. After all, the folks you watch the game with at the bar might not be interested in an evening out and dinner.
Does this make us a bad friend for pigeon-holing our friendships like this?
Are we rating our friends in terms of decorum, social status or even just plain best friends, good friends and the dreaded acquaintance!
My honest opinion is no…We each take different things from our friends and they from us. Friendships are symbiotic by their very nature, no matter how altruistic the attention there is always an element of self-interest.
What about destructive friends, friends who always tell us how many pounds we have gained but never comment if we’ve managed to fit into that T-shirt we’ve been desperate to wear for the last 6 months.
So what if it’s now winter!
I think we sometimes need one of those friends, someone who stops us flying too close to the sun. We just need to remember to not surround ourselves with these types of friendships.
Well, I’m sure you’ve gone through this and thought, I’m no clearer on what makes a good friend or a bad friend. I guess that is the crux, sometimes the nicest of people can result in a bad relationship for you, and vice versa.
You could be right now one person’s best friend and on the cusp of being cast asunder by another due to the differing requirements, each of us takes from our friends.
Friendships are so complex and vastly different that I’m sure at one time someone counted the devil himself as the best friend to call when they fancied letting their hair down!
After all, he makes the most wicked flaming sambucas!
