How Do You Reenter the World During a Pandemic When Life Seems Scary?
Parenting during the pandemic hasn’t been a gloriously achievable experience, trying to navigate your kids safely while also branching out to find new friendships
Parenthood is no joke. It’s the endless saga of scrapes and bruises, laundry, and crying in the shower. For all of those fears I had as a kid who grew up watching Unsolved Mysteries and horror movies, they sprang back into action as a parent. Okay, horror movies can obviously be scary, but the theme song to Unsolved Mysteries was terrifying, too. It also didn’t help that the show revolved around unsolved murders, kidnappings, and you get the idea. So, it’s safe to say that I grew up a little bit afraid of the things that might happen in the world. I’ve always tried to be super aware of my surroundings, and put myself in positions that might not have me end up on a show that literally talked about the very thing I was afraid of having happen. As I got into my 20s, the feelings weren’t always as intense, but then I had kids.
It was like a shot to the arm and all of those intense worries jumped to the forefront of my temporal lobe in a way that probably should’ve required me to wear a diaper myself. Fortunately, I was able to restrain those fears just enough to change diapers, do nightly feedings, and “nigh-nigh” songs to where that urge to soil myself was just a figment of my imagination. Unfortunately, the nightmarish thoughts of those earlier years crept back in; meaning, I’m definitely not letting my own kids watch those things at such an age.
Do you know what sucks? I didn’t think those thoughts were ever going to leave. But, like many things, with experience comes a bit of ease. Like driving a car for the first time, nervous to press too hard on the gas pedal or slamming on the brakes, it gets easier to a degree. As my kids get older, the desire to see them take ownership in their own lives, grasping at independence with more responsibilities, it eases that figurative foot off the gas or brake pedal.
Life isn’t perfect, so some of those fears are always underlying features of my parenting “skills,” but the pandemic brought about a deadly seriousness that led me to know our life bubble had to shrink. It’s my job to do what I can to keep them safe. Risk doesn’t hold a place in a parent’s mind when death is an option or serious long-term illness is possible. Maybe I’ve held on too tightly during the past year and a half, but the recent surges with the Delta variant have left me grasping at straws. Like many people, socialization is such a crucial part of our lives. The desire to have face-to-face interactions is pure joy. To see friends smiling, laughing, or listening to distraught stories of love or loss, friendships help us all.
SO, WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER WHEN A PARENT IS AFRAID OF THEIR CHILD BECOMING A PERMANENT STATISTIC?
It’s not easy, but we go with what guidance we can. We try to pay attention to certain factors, especially when it comes to doctors talking about steps to keep our kids safe. So, when a new family moved into the neighborhood recently and their daughter was a little older than Adelaide, the excitement was palpable. You could see the excitement in Adelaide, Marshall, and especially Meghan. As a parent, it’s sometimes easy to see when your children miss their friends and miss playing with their friends.
Social distancing has become a sport that we’ve tried to master, but when it comes to kids playing together, that distance closes quickly — because they’re kids and they want that interaction. With vaccines on the horizon for younger kids, we are so hopeful for any return to normal that would help our kids and let them engage with others more closely. The other day was the first time in a long time that our kids interacted closely with another kid. They wore masks as they ran around outside, played soccer and badminton, and they even sat in the grass in yoga poses. It was a joyful experience for both of my kids. They loved their new “best friend” and they can’t wait to spend more time with her.
During any other time in their lives, this would’ve been a normal occurrence. The obvious point is that this type of thing has not been a normal thing for quite some time. Life has been at a standstill, and I’m so worried that it will continue this way until they can both be vaccinated. When my kids can finally be vaccinated, it will definitely lift some of this massive weight off my mind. I just want to keep them safe. I know they miss the constant interactions with friends and family, so vaccinations will help mitigate that. Having them masked up and spending time with a new friend was also a massive step for our family as a whole. They had loads of fun and I know they crave more.
I don’t have all of the answers. I never will, so I can only do my best to stay as informed as I can to help my kids have some semblance of a “normal” life. Most of us have never experienced a pandemic, so I try to share with them that we’re all facing this for the first time. This clearly isn’t a normal way of living, so being open with them has been such an important feature of being a parent. Life doesn’t always look the way it looks right now, but diving back in, like it was once before is such a new experience. It doesn’t feel quite right, because the pandemic is literally still raging. It’s like wanting to go back to school as a kid when you had the chicken pox, but that wasn’t going to happen while you were still itching.
Hopefully, we’re doing enough to keep our kids in good spirits until that “itching” period leaves us all. Unfortunately, it’s been a very long year and a half and the only thing any of us wants is for life to go back to normal. We only reach that if we all do what we can to help each other. In our case, we’re trying not to be overwhelmed by the shock of reentering the world as our kids spend time with other kids. Wow. It’s such an unimaginable thought to realize how distant our kids have had to be with other kids during this time in their lives. It’s not easy, but I guess that’s the point.
Life is a challenge on its own, so when a deadly pandemic rears its head, seeing your unvaccinated kids playing with other unvaccinated children, even masked, is almost too much to bear. Their joy and laughter does help, but we will continue taking steps to keep them safe as they reenter this world of playing with friends outdoors. The least measured response will be a mask — and until further notice, I don’t see a change in that until vaccinations become available. Baby steps, friends. Baby steps.
