I Am Retired But I Work to Feed My Soul
Like the dogs I work with, I feel the danger almost before I see it
I’m standing in 1,200 square feet of chain-linked gravel and sand with one other handler and 22 rowdy shelter dogs. I freeze when I spot a husky mix because the hair on my neck stands up. Like the dogs, I feel the danger almost before I see it. He is hard staring me from 15 feet away.
In the dog world, a hard stare signals a challenge or, at least, dislike.
His head lowered and teeth showing, I hear his growl warning me that I must respond correctly and fast or be added to the bite statistics. I slowly turn my back to the husky while noting his stiff body, weight shifted back on his hind legs. So, this is fear. I’m not sure why he’s afraid of me but this tells me the growling and teeth are an attempt to de-escalate a perceived conflict. I will do everything I can in the next few seconds (that’s what I estimate I have) to give him what he’s asking from me. I slowly walk to the edge of the yard adding 10 more feet between us. Under one arm, I steal a glance. His head is up, but not looking me in the eye anymore. I take a slow, deep breath and consciously relax all my muscles with a little wiggle. The husky approaches me from behind, sniffs and retreats at an angle.
He is desensitizing himself, repeating the approach several more times and sniffing longer as his fear subsides.
Less fearful now, he decides to keep one eye on me and survey the action near the kiddy pool, a water source too large for most dogs to resource guard successfully. He spies my fellow handler and gives her a half-hearted warning growl but decides to take space for himself by moving to the other end of the yard. The next ten minutes of sharing space with this fearful, 90 pound dog is work. I think to myself that the last time I received a warning like this was years ago from a mother whose son I intended to marry.
I work in communications but it has nothing to do with media. My second language is all about body movement, context and the information that I can not perceive with my inferior senses of scent and hearing. Dogs speak to each other in complete paragraphs and I’m lucky to pick up a few words of their conversations. I love what I do and that’s why I do it for free. It’s never easy but it’s often rewarding and sometimes sad and painful. Some people work for money, others for recognition or power. As a volunteer, my work is my passion and the source of my energy. I create connections.
I am retired but I work to feed my soul.
I have work but not a job. If anyone tells you that retirement happens when you stop working, please roll your eyes once for me. Retirement starts when you quit your job, not your work.
