Rock Bottom has Left Me Open to Doing Things Differently
My 4-part health challenge for the rest of 2021
Rock bottom is defined as the lowest point a person can get to. It’s also a great point to start over. In May, I started to hit what I felt was rock bottom- both mentally and physically.
I hit there mentally through my call center job and the stress and anxiety it created within me. It also made me realize that there were a lot of things I had never properly let go of in the past, both related to and unrelated to work.
I was also at the lowest point of my lymphedema journey as I sat on a curb outside of the baseball stadium in my hometown on a busy street, literally crying tears of anguish over the distance I had just walked. It hurt too much to walk further. All I could do was pray that I didn’t get hit by a passing car.
Something had to give. I had to take a long look in the mirror and realize that I could no longer play games with my health- either mentally or physically.
I spent several days thinking about it, consulting with family and a pain medication doctor, and etching out a plan for the rest of the year.
I cut my work down to part-time to allow for intense focus on all areas of health.
I am choosing to do a more holistic lifestyle- one where you examine each area of life and how they interconnect.
This is my 4 aspect plan for the rest of the year:
1. Invest in my body
I have a medical condition called lymphedema. It’s a condition that swells your extremities. In my case, the lymphedema is in my lower legs. It’s taken a lot from me throughout the past 13 years that it’s been part of my life. It took the job that I enjoyed away, by making standing for 8 hours impossible. It causes a lot of pain whether I’m standing, walking, or sitting for long periods of time. For the past year, it’s made standing for longer than 5–10 minutes impossible.
I hit my physical rock bottom when I realized I could not walk through the baseball stadium after a Pirates game. I was also having dizzy spells where it was easy to lose my balance for brief periods of time.
The lack of inaction that I had accumulated to try to ease the pain is also affecting my back muscles. After seeing a pain doctor, she recommended water therapy to recondition my body.
I know how much physical therapy for backaches can hurt. I went through it back in 2001 after a car accident. However, I’m willing to go through that pain because I know that being able to sit/stand/walk again will be worth it.
There are other aspects, however. It’s time to stop eating crap and start looking to increase more healthy and natural foods in my diet. It’s time to be grateful for my body and what it can do. It’s time to move what can be moved, just beyond its comfort zone. It’s time to cut back on caffeine and explore different ways to have increased energy. It might be time to look into vitamins.
2. Develop My Spiritual Practice
Last summer, I read The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. It was a powerful book about transforming your fear into faith. However, as it was just one book in a goal to read 100 in a year, I didn’t take too much of it to heart.
In my low moments, after I realized how broken I was, I began to contemplate meditation. Did it have any value for me? Would it help with depression and anxiety?
The remembrance of that book came to me in those moments, and I began to google Bernstein. I tried a few of her free resources and started reading Add More ~ing to Your Life.
I loved how the first few chapters (30-day challenges) dealt with forgiving and getting to the root of core issues, including allowing yourself to feel and not keep stuffing. I realized that it could bring about a whole new transformation for me if I worked with it.
However, I wanted to do a shorter challenge with her before committing a whole year to follow her guidance. I’ve been working with May Cause Miracles for the past 16 days, and I’m loving the perception changes I see so far.
I’ve also been meditating lately. The sessions aren’t very long. However, they have been helping me to release and feel less anxiety. I’ve been working on being more compassionate and forgiving.
My 2-step process for this aspect is two-fold. One, I plan to work through the rest of May Cause Miracles and moving on to Add More ~ing to Your Life. I expect to see more shifts and changes as time goes along. The second part is to continue meditating and working through the things that come up for me in my journal.
3. Choosing Simplicity
Simplicity makes everything easier. Having less makes taking care of what you have easier. Having fewer decisions to make leaves more energy on the table for what really matters.
I plan to continue my practices of less social media and decluttering my mind with a concept coined by Sarah Knight of managing your f*ck bucks just like you would budget your checkbook.
I also plan to continue reducing the physical clutter in my space and working with a capsule wardrobe to allow for fewer decisions in my life. Capsule wardrobing is a process where you select a certain number of pieces of clothing to use during the season. It allows for both creativity in mixing and matching, and less space and time taken up to get ready.
4. Dedicating time to Being Creative Each Week
One of my favorite outlets and ways to take care of myself is to be creative. For me, that means a lot of writing- especially through poetry and short-form writing. It means baking and learning new recipes. It is a form of slowing down and learning something new while also expressing creativity.
I have a few pieces of furniture that need to be painted in the garage. Projects like that spark the creative fire in me. I plan to learn how to do calligraphy or lettering, as it has always been on my bucket list. Finally, paper projects like scrapbooking and bullet journaling are on my list.
Being creative allows us to be absorbed in a project. It allows us to express and to get things out of our system. It also helps with the mental health aspect of things by being an outlet to let go of frustration and calming us with the project at hand.
Take-Away
A health challenge or health plan can be tricky to create. It requires considering multiple aspects of our health- social, mental, emotional, and physical. It also means setting goals or guideposts to gauge how we’re doing.
Some of these goals are specific- for example, meditate for at least 20 minutes every day. Spend 15 minutes a day bullet journaling or practicing lettering. Go to physical therapy twice a week. Goals that can be measured using the SMART method-specific, measurable, attainable, relative and time-specific. Some will not be as clear-cut, however. These are the “I’ll know it by gauging my health.”
Remember to measure what matters. While it might not be as important to document exactly what type of creativity you engaged in each day- did it occur during the week? Know what matters before starting the project and keep tabs on it. It’s okay to focus on one area at a time.
Finally, be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best that you can. It’s about progress, not perfection. It’s also in those moments where you make better choices that are worth celebrating.
What challenges are you taking on for the second half of 2021?
