The Silver Lining of Covid-19
How a global pandemic forced me to make new friends
Until recently, my entire life was wrapped up in being an evangelical Christian. I was part of a culture that tended to reserve genuine friendship for other evangelicals. While I had acquaintances outside of the evangelical church, I didn’t have authentic relationships.
Sure, there were the odd work parties my wife and I attended, or the occasional get-togethers with other school families, but these weren’t the people I shared life with. These relationships lacked the weekly hangouts “just because” and the ongoing text thread with its running inside jokes. That was reserved for those who thought like me, believed like me, and lived like me.
But then two things happened in the course of 18 months that upended this lifelong pattern. First, my wife and I left the evangelical church, with its beliefs and culture, that we spent our entire lives engaged in, and second, the global pandemic grounded us.
Regarding the first, our departure didn’t leave behind all the relationships we had, but it did weed out the authentic ones from the inauthentic. Let’s just say we spent a lot of time that first year out with the same few people.
Regarding the second, Covid transitioned these authentic relationships to zoom, and just like many of you, we spent a lot of time without any true face to face contact.
As the initial wave of the pandemic subsided, though, our boys began playing baseball again. The hesitancy to play was there, but since it’s a socially distanced sport, played outside, with Covid restrictions in place, we succumbed.
My oldest son has been playing on the same team for the past three years. And just like we would have in our former evangelical days, my wife and I have gotten to know the other team parents, have hung out on the sidelines together, and have even gone to the occasional pool party. But our relationships with them rarely went beyond the niceties, and although we enjoyed their company, the residue from our past kept us from fully engaging.
I spent nearly 40 years being friends only with people that thought like me, talked like me, and acted like me, and as much as I wanted to change, I needed a cosmic shift to shake off the residual tendencies of my past. Enter Covid.
Aside from certain family members, these baseball families were the most face to face interaction we had since the original lockdown. And as much as my boys needed this interaction with people other than themselves, so did my wife and I.
Baseball games and practices became a way of escape from everyday Covid life. What was once a pre-Covid struggle juggling sports and other commitments now became the highlight of our nights and weekends. And not because it gave us something to do other than watch Netflix and play Xbox.
We were actually getting to know the other parents, learning about their lives, and having conversations that went beyond, “Think we’re going to win today?” or “I wonder if the weather will hold out?” Where my previous self would have tempered my engagement, I now let go, craving human interaction.
Old tendencies fell away, new tendencies formed, and I realized that being in relationship with people who differ from me in their thoughts and beliefs, views on life, and held values is actually fun, and dare I say, good. I’m embarrassed to admit it took me 38 years to realize this.
And now, as the baseball season is finally over, a few of those families remain genuine friends. And since our kids are naturally around one another, being in the same school class or podding together on remote learning days, we’ve opened up our “bubble” to include these families in the midst of the pandemic. I never would have envisioned that one year ago.
But therein lies the silver lining. Without Covid, I would have missed out on getting to know some great people and forming unlikely (for me) friendships. And even as Covid numbers ramp back up and physical interactions may be limited, we have our continual text thread, with all of its inside jokes, to keep us going.
