On Long Distance

Originally posted on www.insta-grad.tumblr.com

This is Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about long-distance relationships. Not just romantic long-distance, although Lord knows I know plenty about that. I’m talking about all the long-distance relationships: one week last month, I spent over six cumulative hours on Skype. Yes, some of that was with my boyfriend. But the majority of those hours were spent online with friends and family scattered all across the country. And I’m sure I’m not alone.

That same week, Buzzfeed, long may it reign as our One True Content Aggregator, had a post titled “23 Ways Long-Distance BFFs Survive”. It mentioned things like having a countdown to when you’ll see each other next and scrolling through photos of your absent (platonic) other half. But replace your BFF in each scenario with your significant other or even your family, and the argument still stands. Yeah, my boyfriend and I constantly discuss how Skype is the best invention of our time. And I’m not impervious to scrolling through the subreddit for my hometown, keeping up with current events even though I now live 1,500 miles away.

It can feel lonely, being so far away from so many of the most important people. But the fact that, as of writing, the Buzzfeed list had 1,343,804 views tells me I’m far from alone. Whether it’s because of leaving home for college or a job, or because someone else left, ours is a long-distance world.

Granted, I’m speaking from privileged point of view: privileged to have gone to a school far away from home, privileged to be able to support myself in a different city away from home, privileged to even have friends and family and a boyfriend to miss. But the more people I talk to, online and in person, about their lives, the more I hear about their phone calls and Skype dates and impending visits to see loved ones on the other side of the country or on the other side of the world.

We all have friends in our own cities, of course. We’re not some sad generation of pathetically lonely individuals who masochistically move as far away from our friends as possible for the sheer novelty of it. In fact, as it turns out, Americans are moving around less than we used to. I doubt that our cross-country relationships feel so close because people in the 21st century just care more. Far from it: rather than us having to care more, the world has made it easier for us to keep up with each other.

So I’m spending this Valentine’s Day in bed with some enchiladas and the Olympics. I’ll call my mom on the phone and text with some Insta*Grad compatriots. I’ll turn on Netflix and (admittedly masochistically) watch a show that reminds me of my boyfriend, and later we’ll probably chat over Facebook.

Tomorrow, I’ll go to the movies with local friends. Because Facebook hasn’t totally destroyed face-to-face interaction for the millennial generation. Yet.