The Power of Engagement Part 4 — Being Purposefully Public Rather than Protectively Private
But what if you had nothing to hide? What if you had the freedom to make those issues you’ve spent so much time and energy hiding public?
Traveling along the Path of Mastery is about thriving in your commitment to living on purpose, not just surviving. A key piece of the puzzle I’d like for you to try on is the distinction of being “purposefully public” rather than being “protectively private.”
I realize this might take a bit of stretching especially since there’s so much concern in the world about privacy and having it pirated by others, but here’s where I’d like you to start. Consider that being private often arises from the Inherited Purpose. Often it’s all about protecting oneself unnecessarily. We don’t want to be embarrassed, we’re afraid if people know all of our foibles and the skeletons in our closet, they won’t like or respect us, so we protect ourselves by hiding behind a cloak of privacy.
But what if you had nothing to hide? What if you had the freedom to make those issues you’ve spent so much time and energy hiding public? What if there might actually be a time, place and way to share about these previously private issues in such a way that they could actually be a significant part of what you’re here to contribute to others?
Now, I’m not talking about just dumping your ‘garbage’ on anyone and everyone. There’s a level of responsibility with this distinction. If what you’ve been hiding would simply hurt others if it became public and there’s no upside to sharing it, then perhaps it’s best to just let it goes, but watch out that the Inherited Purpose doesn’t use this to rationalize keeping things private that could actually provide you with a renewed level of freedom to by yourself if it weren’t hidden.
Many years ago I took part in a transformational program that had as one of it’s exercises the opportunity to share publicly all the “withholds” that we’d be so carefully guarded for fear what others would think of us. Now, this part of the process was introduced after we’d been doing a lot of other transformational work together so the group was closely connected and experiencing a level of safety. Even so, things started off slowly, with people sharing small matters at first. But as the process continued and the level of safety increased, more and more folks came forth revealing some pretty earth-shattering items, including crimes they’d committed, sexual fantasies they had for years but hadn’t shared with anyone, and actual sexual acts they’d participated in but had kept closely guarded against their friends and loved ones.
And you know what happened? It started to become downright comical…and oh so freeing because people began to realize that they weren’t the only ones who had a bunch of stuff they’d been afraid to share for years — stuff that when offered to the light of day really wasn’t all that big a deal.
So, it’s possible to be purposefully public and to share your life — all of your life — “the good, the bad, and the ugly” is a mature responsible way, not as a whiney victim of the circumstances. And when you take this on, you’ll be taking some major steps along the path of Mastery.
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W. Bradford Swift has enjoyed a combo career as a writer and life coach for over thirty years and now coaches aspiring authors to write that someday, one day book TODAY. http://wbradfordswift.com/writing-coach/
