How to Survive in a Backstabbing and Gossiping Work Culture
“What Are Some of the Most Difficult Workplace Challenges You Currently Face?”
We recently took to Facebook to ask about some of your biggest workplace challenges (don’t let the cute Maverick photo fool you — he’s currently going through the ‘terrible twos’). I received permission from one of the respondents, Amanda, to use her challenge for this article. I chose Amanda’s as the issue is so common in so many organizations — gossip and backstabbing.
Her response was to-the-point:
“Colleagues’ gossip and bad-talking others. I wish we all lived by the motto, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it.”
Ironically, I am familiar with Amanda’s workplace. She works at a private club at which I am a member. I’ll just say the members can be..ummmm…hmmmm..’demanding’ (myself excluded of course). Being in a smaller work environment like this can amplify a bad workplace culture even more.
Here was my response to her (modified for context):
Identify the Root Cause
I am a HUGE believer that in developing any solution (personally or professionally), it’s imperative to identify the ‘root cause.’ Otherwise, you just end up putting patches in and fixing symptoms of the issue without ever fixing the core. That causes reaction, chaos and frustration over time. You just can’t win!
Unfortunately, the situation you speak of is not uncommon at all in work cultures organization-wide or within departments. Fortunately, there are specific solutions that both organizations and individuals can do to change this. I’ll start at the organizational level.
Organizational Level
Hiring
The typical root causes at the organizational level are normally 1) hiring and/or 2) leadership. For example, in our hiring, we look for exceptional talent, but we also look for a fit from a culture standpoint. I don’t care how talented someone is — if they don’t fit into the culture, they’re going to be miserable and not perform to potential which causes a cycle of dissatisfaction all around. Hiring the RIGHT people for the RIGHT role is critical. By the time I interview someone, I’m assessing only one thing — do I want to work with this person?
Leadership
Leadership is responsible for developing and/or correcting an already established culture. I see three primary causes of leadership lapse in this situation and none of them are acceptable, as part of the leader’s responsibility is to ‘protect’ the team:
- They aren’t aware.
- They ignore it.
- They feed into it.
They Feed Into It (The Most Damaging)
When I go into an organization, I’ll identify which of the three it is. If it’s #3 (‘They feed into it’), and the organization really wants change, I recommend the leader(s) be removed or put in a different position. More times than not, the leader is actually happier. A culture of backstabbing and gossip comes from one of the deepest levels of insecurity. This level of insecurity makes a leader not fit for the position.
They Ignore It
If it’s #2 (‘They ignore it’), then we determine the ‘why’ behind the ‘ignore’ (either doesn’t see it as an issue, doesn’t know how to address it and/or is fearful to confront it). The why determines the specific solution, but it comes down to both individual and organizational plans for change and development.
They Aren’t Aware
If it’s #1 (‘They aren’t aware’), we make an awareness plan based on facts and then go down the path of #2 — a solution of identification and plan development. In many cases this is a newer leader who just needs to build a skill base of what, when and how to look for workplace environmental clues.
Ultimately, it’s leadership’s responsibility to own it and fix it. I will often use a team exercise/team-building exercise but really for the sake of IDENTIFYING the root cause. The exercise in itself will normally not solve the root-cause issue in a significant and sustainable way, albeit a fantastic way to analyze and determine the issue(s).
Individual Level
What can you do at your individual level? Be the leader, even if not in role. Stay out of the gossip — physically walk away. Band together and build your ‘tribe’ of those you trust and are confident will not play into the culture and set the example. Many times, that will alienate the ‘problem people’ — they’ll choose to either come to your tribe or leave if you have enough people in solidarity to build that solid tribe. I won’t lie and say it’s always possible, and it’s certainly never anything that is sustainable without support from leadership.
Ultimately, if the culture does not allow you to work your brilliance and be happy (I believe happiness is the core of success and success is built from happiness), start a quiet and strategic plan of exit. Life is short and we spend a lot of it working — you deserve to be happy and build the success that comes from happiness. Only you can determine, build and execute that plan though — and that doesn’t mean that you cannot have a ton of great support either from your tribe, friends, family or external professionals.
Thanks for letting me spew some quick solutions.
A Personal Note About My Passion
As a consultant who has been in over 100 organizations and led thousands of teams, it makes me upset when I see leaders (especially high-level executives) who are responsible for building environments like the one Amanda is in and are allowed to stay in the position.
Actually, as a passionate leader, it downright pisses me off. Why? Because these people are affecting the happiness and success of sometimes tens of thousands of individuals in our workforce. And it gives leaders in general a bad reputation. Trust is not an entitlement. It’s earned, and only through lots of time and experience.
This is why I’ve always made it the highest-level priority to foster a positive environment at Intelivate. We have fun, but work our tails off in the process. At some point, you become family when you come to the team. We are fiercely supportive — and protective — of one another.
Workplace Culture is Strategically Built By Leaders
No, this didn’t happen from ‘good luck’ or coincidence. It’s very strategic across all parts of our operations — from hiring, to business process to how we assign work and collaboration and even our client partnerships. Because our clients always — always — become part of the Intelivate family as well.
Bye Felicia!
And if anyone ever endangers the environment we’ve all worked so hard to build and have absolutely come to cherish, I’ll walk you right out the door. Very swiftly, quickly and respectfully. Bye Felicia! It’s my job as a leader. It’s my instinct as a person.
I don’t care if you are my most brilliant colleague who is about to invent the most sought-after patent in the world (making laundry fold itself of course) and you are about to sign said patent over to me. I don’t care if you are a potential client who is about to sign the world’s most valuable contract. If a colleague or our culture greatly suffers, it’s not the right fit. It’s not going to work. Ever.
Have a challenge? Want some advice?
Do you have a challenge you’d like advice on from Intelivate? The answer to your question could be included in a future Wealth of Self article!
Want to know how to balance work and personal life? Just starting the corporate ladder and want to know how to navigate it? A new mother going back into the workforce? We’d LOVE to hear from you. Although we cannot answer each individual question, we will try and use as many of them as possible in the future. Just fill out the form here with your question and check back regularly to see if it’s included here!
I would love to hear about any workplace challenges you are currently having or have solved in the past! What’s your workplace culture like?
Originally published at www.intelivate.com on September 11, 2015.
