Leadership, Life, Love, War — Defining History and Building Your Legacy
Over the past several weeks, more than 8,000 people have been impacted by layoffs in some Intelivate client organizations. You can only imagine the number of calls, emails and meetings I’ve had (with still countless communications to go) to do whatever I can to help those that I know. Not from a professional perspective, but purely personal in nature.
Each of these individuals has a story, a history, dreams, family and a legacy. During these conversations, I found myself referencing a letter and exercise I wrote a year and a half ago.
In May 2014, I was hurriedly preparing to leave for Israel. I was working with with three client leaders who were about to make some very difficult decisions. Although I always seem to become personally invested in our client partners, these individuals were just so very much in my heart over the years.
I was concerned that they were approaching these critical decisions with the wrong ‘fuel’ which would end up costing them — more in their own emotional capital than anything. My fear was that they would fuel those decisions out of fear or anger.
As humans, we’ve all done exactly that. As history has told us, decisions fueled with fear, anger or ‘no-choice’ reaction often cause more harm in the long-run albeit provide quick relief in that moment.
I quickly put an exercise together with the letter below in the hopes of helping them regroup. As I could not be there in person, I had it hand delivered while they were together.
Take a Breath. Now Be Thankful You Can.
I found the letter to be incredibly relevant to the conversations I am having today with those that are about to start their own battles and new chapters.
In reality, I’ve read this letter countless times to remind myself of some important lessons as I undertake my own battles.
It’s become not only some of the key principles that I live by, but also the core of how Intelivate operates.
With their enthusiastic permission, the letter I wrote to them is shared below. It’s been altered only in removing names.
My hope is that if you are struggling in any way (personally or professionally), fighting a hard battle at this moment, or deciding whether to begin a battle, that you will be able to pull something from this to overcome the challenge and to fuel your success.
“…When mistakenly perceived broken clouds combine with the right wind support, a perfect storm of brilliance forms. You all know what I mean.”
~ Kris Facebook ramble on May 17th, 2014
Dear ,
In high school, I hated history. Early, in my freshman year (around September of 1987…whoops I meant 1997) and in my still-then southern accent (I had just moved to Illinois that August from the deep South), I asked this question to my World History professor, Dr. Keizer:
“Isn’t the point of learning history to figure out what to repeat and what not to repeat? Why does memorizing the people and dates matter?”
I don’t remember her exact words, but I do remember her message:
“Yes, but it all depends on what life presents to you along the way and how to apply the lessons. Now shut up and focus on memorizing the fucking dates and people.”
My disdain for history classes continued to swell, I still barely remember the date I was born, and I still hate memorizing useless crap. However, her message remains very clear to me and it’s brilliant.
History is largely defined by wars. Wars are defined by battles. Although countries and cultures begin wars, they only end by the successful efforts of those individuals that neither started nor wanted a war — but passionately fought the battles.
To most people the terms ‘war’ and ‘battle’ have such a negative connotation. Although it’s easy to think of these as negative, it’s very simple to think of them as positive.
Easy is different than simple. Understanding the operational differences in these two defined synonyms has allowed me to prioritize my battles over the years. Although it wasn’t easy it was simple.
Easy is Lazy. Simple is Hard
Easy is lazy. I remain very stupid around anything I strive to make easy.
Anything that isn’t impactful and I really don’t care about is never simple but it eventually quickly becomes easy. I am required to learn nothing about everything that I want to be easy. Easy requires no growth of me as a person.
Simple is hard. I become brilliant in anything I strive to make simple.
Anything impactful and worth doing is never easy but it eventually becomes simple. It evolves into instinct. I eventually don’t even know I’m doing it. I am required to learn everything about anything I want to become simple. Simple is the only thing that has grown me as a person.
An individual’s life-long evolution is extremely complicated, but is brilliantly reflected by simplicity. Think about it.
In your individual way, you are simply brilliant. You do things daily that are simple to you but are seen as impossible by others. That inspires. You inspire.
To others, it appears to be easy for you, but you know now it’s actually synonymously opposite — it’s simple.
You are where you are today — personally and professionally — because you had to fight battles. And you’ve won more than you’ve lost — or you wouldn’t be here.
Battles should never be easy. They should be simple.
Question Your Fuel, Not Your Purpose
If I look back on the most notable ‘battles’ in both the world and my life, the success and sustainability variant is simple — fuel of purpose.
Those ‘battles’ that are fueled by a purpose of fear (or to create fear), revenge, anger, resentment, hate or are pure in self always end but are never completed; resulting in chaos, division (even if within self) and despairingly cause the question of “Why?”
Those ‘battles’ that are fueled by a purpose of passion, love, and a goal broader, higher and greater than the self, truly never end but are always completed; resulting in peace, unity (even if within self) and fundamentally ANSWER the question of “Why?”
The great battles are chosen very carefully, albeit most unconsciously. They are always fueled by conscious purpose — lots of passion and love. Tons of it.
ALWAYS question your fuel and NEVER question your purpose. Your purpose has always been the same — it’s never changed and should never change. The variant in result is always the fuel.
The right fuel will bring you sustainable success and more importantly it will bring you sustainable happiness.
Battles with the right fuel build happiness.
Deeply Become Happy
Professionally, I want each of you to be successful. Personally, I want each of you to be happy.
It’s the chicken or the egg debate, but the answer is a resounding “YES!”: Success only happens through happiness. It’s impossible to begin happiness through success.
Happiness builds through love and passion. It has to start with love of yourself. Extends to love of each other and sustains through nurturing. However, it starts with you.
My favorite shining memories of you as a team are when you did something that came from love — love of your team, love for your purpose and love for what you were doing.
Your most successful battles won to date were fueled through love. Never lose that.
The proper fuel is simple. It’s love and love is never easy.
Always Forgive But Never Forget
Forgive history, but don’t forget it. Forgiveness is completely separate from forgetting. They must always remain separate.
Forgiveness allows you to wholly move forward but forgetting will keep you in a cycle of now and never allow you to evolve. Neither is easy but both should be simple.
If success starts with happiness and happiness builds through love and passion, then it’s clear it starts with your heart. The pieces of your heart you give are timeless gifts whose recipients should be chosen very carefully. You only have so much to give.
Forgiveness allows your heart to repair. Never forgetting keeps you from making bad investments in the future. Both give you sustainable happiness, which leads to sustainable success.
When you think about it — this is true reincarnation of yourself into everyone and everything who receives your love and passion.
It’s simply brilliant. It’s you.
Battle For Purpose — Not to Win The War
Battle to achieve your collective purpose — not to win the war. That’s key in everything we take on. In reality, individuals actually define history — not wars — because wars are nothing without the battle.
You’re responsible for the battles, so you’re responsible for defining history.
History is really nothing more than our universe. War is actually life. Battles are actually all the people whose individual purpose bridges back to life and collectively defines our universe.
You’re responsible for your purpose, so you’re responsible for defining our universe.
Always Be Thankful
I am such a very blessed individual. Dr. Keizer taught me that in World History.
I could reflect on a lot of my history with self-pity, regret and resentment but instead, I reflect on all of that history very fondly. It’s the hard battles that I have fought that define my history and ultimately my universe.
I love my universe. The battles connect me to life which is why I feel so much love for each and every single battle.
Hell, knowing only part of each of your individual stories, the fact that you get out of bed everyday is amazing. You don’t even think about it — it’s who you have evolved to be. It’s very simple to you now, but it is never easy.
On a level — and you know this — you are very thankful for all the ‘bad’ things and history. It’s made you who you are today and you are brilliant because you are full of absolute pure love.
You are so blessed because of your battles. Don’t try to forget them. Embrace them. They are a part of your history. They give you the strength and amazing heart you have today.
Your battles have made you brilliant and the victories were fueled by love.
Never Forget to Fuel and Protect Each Other
The right investment means there is a constant refueling of that love. The right investment means that the love I’ve given not only surrounds me at all times — it ignites a brilliant passion when all the people and things I love share that love with each other.
It’s a passion so bright and so hot that it can sometimes be overwhelming. I am never in fear of this overwhelming passion, although I sometimes have to soothe the fears of those around me since that passion can be rather overwhelming to others. It’s something I am still working on.
You all sit together in a room at this moment. At times you have been very fearful. At times, you’ve felt a lot of anger. That’s ordinary but you are extraordinary. Truly extraordinary.
Talk about your history. Forgive it but never forget it. Formulate your battles around your collective purpose and make sure you use the right fuel. Help each other with that daily.
Always question the fuel. Make sure the fuel comes from your individual love and your collective passion of purpose.
Become Timeless
The amount of love that you have as individuals is simply extraordinary. Now is the time for you to consciously and strategically combine that love collectively to become a blinding and hot passion.
It’s going to make you brilliant as a team and extraordinarily happy as individuals. It’s what you’ve been working towards. It’s what you’ve been waiting for. It’s what you deserve. You deserve happy.
You’ll earn the successes that come with happiness. Eventually, it will become simple. If you allow it. I promise.
The love that you collectively build will be timeless. It will be a constant reincarnation of you. It will collectively define the battles, your history and ultimately your universe. It starts with you. It starts with your love.
Once you build it, it will spread effortlessly to your teams. Why? Because happiness inspires. Because from your collective love and passion, it means you will inspire.
It will be sustainable.
Remember, living your life to be happy is monumentally different than living your life in the fear of not being happy. Be brave.
Make your decisions out of the absolute excitement of possibilities — not from fear. Do the right thing — not what is right now. Operate each minute with your legacy in mind.
Most of all, be happy.
With lots of love,
Kris
Originally published at www.intelivate.com. Visit Kris Fannin at Intelivate.
Would love to hear about some of your battles or client stories! Feel free to join me on LinkedIn or Twitter!
