Blue

Blue is a color that I have always felt one of the closest to, as I have journeyed through life and learned about my own great deal of sadness.

Thinking about my own identity, I have always been more on the emotional side and finding comfort in my own sadness as well as feeding on that of others.

I find myself getting hurt a lot by others and even myself, due to when I embark on my process of learning I fear of disappointment. With the color blue, there is an overwhelming amount of doubt and helplessness in an ocean of knowledge. It is all too easy to get swallowed up in those who have more status and say in society than you.

From my freshman year of high school to the junior year, I was overcome with large amounts of depression and anxiety due to the pressure that was put on me to be the “smart child” all throughout middle school. I could not keep up with all the numbers and values, which is why blue is deeply rooted in my understanding of math. It is something that I used to be good at long about but have fallen out of touch with.

Blue is the missed opportunities and memories associated with other colors that I could have had if I had only not been so wrapped up in everything else.

When I got through my relationship with depression, I compiled a playlist of all of the sad songs that I listened to whilst in this state. The 234 song 14 hour playlist is a testament to my previous pain, inspiring much of what I aim to do with this project. Nearly all of the songs in this playlist I associate with the color blue, so I am now actively seeking connections with other colors in order to find a more rounded out version of myself rather than a one-sided intellectual identity in pain.

WORKS CITED

Sieberg, Kimberly. “Blue” Spotify, Created by KimiSieb, March 2021. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7A7MMRtO48r8BCy16ptNJx?si=YSgHwDD_Tr-UOtSYjQ0Frg

Sieberg, Kimberly. “FeelsRainMan” Spotify, Created by KimiSieb, 2020. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7A7MMRtO48r8BCy16ptNJx?si=YSgHwDD_Tr-UOtSYjQ0Frg

*Note: All photography is by me. Yes, I might be too lazy to cite them all because most of them do not have titles but their years range from 2015 to 2020