9 Lessons I Learned From 3 Foreign Countries I Lived In
Every culture in the world has wisdom to teach you.
This article is a response to a question that Pravina Chetty has asked me:
“which lessons have you learned so far from the places that you have lived in?”
In this article, I want to share three of the lessons that I have learned from every single foreign country that I have lived in so far.
Indonesia:
Lesson #1: Colleagues can be like your family
In Indonesia, your office is like your extended family. The head of the company is like the patriarch who takes care of his employees. A lot of time at work is spent socializing, building relationships, helping each other solve problems of any nature, and enjoying life. The goal of the company is to support the livelihoods of the people working in the company.
Coming from Germany, where the focus of work is very much on profit-maximizing, efficiency and effectiveness, and a pure focus on the task at hand, it has been an incredibly interesting insight for me that there can be a significantly different approach to work.
Lesson #2: You can do productive work even while spending all your time in a group
When I was a student at the University in Indonesia, I was that one strange guy who spent most of his time alone, working on whatever project I had to do at that point in time.
Don’t get he wrong here. From a German perspective, I didn’t spent particularly much time alone. I was doing a lot of different things with friends. More so than I ever did in Germany.
But from an Indonesian perspective, I was always alone. My classmates were doing everything together, whether that was doing work for uni, studying, going to a cafe or getting lunch. People were simply always with friends. And if not, then they were with their families.
I was left wondering: how can anyone get any work done in this way? Well, it definitely is possible. Although how it works is a mystery to me until today.
Lesson #3: Different aspects of a culture can be more- or less suitable for your own personality
Two of the major cultural differences that I love to talk about when it comes to Germany and Indonesia are the approach to time, and the direct- versus indirect communication styles.
One of them suits my personality really well, the other one — not at all.
I have always been much less ‘straightforward’ in my approach to communication compared to the average German. I just don’t feel that comfortable being very straight about things I don’t like about other people, criticizing other people’s ideas or projects and so on and so forth.
Because of that, I have done quite very in terms of adapting to the Iranian way of communicating in a very indirect manner by using other communication styles than just the literal meaning of the words that are being used (e.g. body language, tone of voice etc.)
When it comes to the Indonesian approach to time, however, I will probably never get used to it.
The belief that you should do one thing at a time and focus all your attention on that in order to get the best work done is so deeply ingrained into my mind, that I will probably never change it. And somehow, the Iranian approach towards time is not very congruent with that belief.
Doing a lot of different things at the same time, working in a group and socializing during the working process and so on and so forth simply do not come very natural to me.
To other people, however, it may be the complete opposite.
Australia
Lesson #4: Being part of a community is the most empowering feeling
In Australia, I experienced for the first time what I really means to be part of a community. I joined the start-up community for several months and was basically surrounded by motivated, skilled and interesting people every single day by working out of a co-working space.
The constant exposure to new ideas. The support you are giving to each other. The company you have all the time. The motivation you get from seeing other people succeed.
All them together make joining part of a community a really powerful thing to do, instead of just sitting at home and working on your computer all day.
Lesson #5: Multicultural societies have their own advantages- and disadvantages
To me, living in Australia is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, I love Australia for its multiculturalism. You can make friends with people from all over the world easily, and the diversity really has the potential to make your life fascinating if you embrace it completely.
At the same time, however, it is difficult for me to articulate what defines Australian culture itself. It feels like such a mixture of different cultures at all times, that it is hard to put your finger on what Australian culture really is.
Yes, there is a certain ‘Australianness’ that is underlying everything — a range of accepted behavior that immigrants learn over time. You just don’t feel it as strong as it is the case in very mono-cultural societies, and it would probably take years to really understand it.
Lesson #6: Freedom always comes with a price
Australia is often seen as the land of freedom. The country with an amazing landscape, a culture of freedom, amazing weather, great opportunities for traveling, high wages, comparatively short working hours and an open society.
Certainly, all of these aspects are true. Australia is an amazing country to live in.
But true freedom? I don’t believe in it.
Australia is a country that pays very high wages, but it is also equally expensive in terms of its living costs.
It is creating great conditions for living as a full-time employee, even if you are working in unskilled jobs. But if you want to do work that grants you a greater degree of freedom — whether it is as a freelancer or entrepreneur, it is a difficult path to follow because of the very high living costs.
In the end, I think that regardless of where you go, striving for more freedom always comes with a price. That is even the case in a country with living conditions as great as Australia.
Iran
Lesson #7: Ancient knowledge can be one of the most powerful guides in life
Iran is the country of ancient poets like Rumi, Hafez and Ferdowsi who continue to have a stunning impact on society until today.
Western society is so focused on the now and the future, that it is often forgetting the wisdom that is lying in the past. In Iran, the opposite is often true. People strongly live in the wisdom’s of their ancient past.
From my perspective, none of these two approaches are good enough. Sure, at the end of the day, the decisions that we make today shape our future the most. But these decisions can be made more effectively when we use the time-tested wisdom of the ancient thinkers.
Ancient knowledge is knowledge that has passed the tests of time — and has been deemed as central to human culture until today. We shouldn’t forget it as a resource for good decision-making.
Lesson #8: Kinship networks can have an enormous power for pooling resources
Kinship networks in Iran are incredibly powerful. In fact, it would be almost impossible for a large part of Iranian society to live without it’s powerful support structures.
Unfortunately, there currently is a strong mismatch between salaries and living costs in Iran.
Rent can easily be as high as three quarters of somebody’s monthly income. Plus, most places require an upfront payment of several times the rent, which adds up to an incredible amount of money for an average person.
And yet, the majority of people manage to live quite well. The way they do this is through kinship networks — the support from their close- and distant family members.
Resources are being pooled together, therefore allowing people to achieve things they could never achieve alone.
Lesson #9: Family can be as close as being perceived as one single entity, as opposed to it being a collection of individuals
To me, this is a really fascinating realization. You, see in Germany families are certainly close to one another- and people tend to spend a large amount of their time within the family network.
But still, we perceive a family as a collection of individuals who together form this thing that is called a family.
In Iran, I would describe family life as something quite different. A family is really perceived as a collective unit that is making its decisions together, that is supporting each other in every condition of life, that is striving towards shared goals and so on and so forth.
What this also means is that the needs of the individual are often ‘submerged’ under the needs of the family as a whole.
In other words, Iranians will have to make much more sacrifices for the sake of the family as a whole. In return, the family is a much more close unit that is working together in every aspects of life.
Some last words
Every culture has something amazing to teach you. Some of the different categories of things that you can learn by living in another culture are:
- different beliefs & challenges to your own belief system
- insights into your own personality and your own sense of self
- different ways of living
- understanding how behavioral patterns are influenced by culture
- different perceptions about different aspects of life
Lastly, I would like to hear from you. Feel free to share some of the lessons that you have learned during your own stays of living abroad in the comments below. I am happy to discuss them and perhaps even cover some of them in my upcoming book “Intercultural Mindset: how to adapt to any culture quickly”.
If you liked this article, please do 👏 and to share it with your friends. Remember, you can clap up to 50 times — it really makes a big difference for me.
