As a foreigner, you will be treated like a foreigner. Live with it.
Once you have moved to another country, you will always be the foreigner.
Regardless of where you are, you will simply never “fit in” completely. That is one of the characteristics of what it means to be an international person.
In your host country, you are different.
In your country of origin, you are different.
Sorry, but there is nothing you can do about that.
Of course, it is not the case that the moment you move abroad,you are changing so dramatically that you become a completely different person who can never fit into either environment again.
But for people who have integrated themselves to another culture to the point that they start getting a real understanding of its way of looking at the world, returning back to who they once were is simply impossible.
People back ‘home’ will start thinking that you are acting a little bit odd.
And even if you are able to completely ‘hide’ this fact and you adapt yourself completely to your home environment once again, then eventually this nagging voice will appear inside of yourself telling you that this isn’t really who you are.
People in your host culture will always continue to see you as a foreigner.
Even people who are married with a local, have spend more than 10 years in their host country and speak the language without an accent still will be considered as foreigners.
While this may or may not have very strong consequences for their behavior, you will feel being treated differently nonetheless, even if the difference is yet so small.
People who live overseas or have returned from a long stay abroad will always have this feeling of being “in-between”
If you want to be happy with your life, then you have to accept this fact.
Living in-between two cultures isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You are not excluded from society because of this. You are just being treated differently.
The way you experience life as a foreigner is different from that of other people.
There is also a lot of beauty to this….
… having the ability to look at the world from different perspectives
… constantly making an active effort to explore who you are
… learning to question the assumptions you are making about the world
… having a very unique position in society
As a foreigner, you also have a lot of unique opportunities that you wouldn’t otherwise have.
You can act as a mediator between cultures, making you invaluable for global businesses. You can integrate different perspectives and create art that has never been seen before. You can serve as the link between two countries, enabling trade between them and building relationships. You can create unique ideas that take the perspectives of both cultures into account.
But to make the most out of these opportunities, you will have to embrace the fact that you are a foreigner
This doesn’t mean that you will have to make your ‘foreignness’ one of the most central aspects of your identity and try to stand out as much as possible.
Neither does it mean that you should make friends mostly with other foreigners who are ‘similar like you are’.
Both of these ways of acting will limit you in your development.
It means that you need to accept the fact that you are a foreigner and that you will always be treated differently wherever you go.
So, what are the next steps?
Now, I would like you to reflect back on your experience as a foreigner.
In what ways has your exposure to another culture shaped who you have become?
How comfortable are you with your identity as a foreigner? What would make you feel better about your current situation?
How do you see your future? How can you capitalize on your ‘foreignness’ the most to build the most suitable future for yourself?
Lastly, if you found this article useful, please do 👏 and share it with your friends.
If you want to pre-purchase my book “Intercultural Mindset: how to adapt to another culture” and support me in my writing, you can visit my Patreon page by clicking on this link.