On Dialogue: Talking about “The Conflict”
It’s nearly a month since the horrific Hamas attacks on Israel. As I sit here in a cafe, that violence, and the appalling suffering being experienced by Palestinians, couldn’t feel further away. However, the emotions which that violence unleashed on all communities here in London is, to me at least, palpable.
I am sure that I will write more about this in the future, but I first wanted to reflect on my experiences of how what happens between Israelis and Palestinians impacts on interfaith processes here in the UK.
For some people, there is an assumption that interfaith is all tea and samosas and lacking in substance. And while it is true that it takes time for the necessary trust (as well as the skills and competencies) to be developed for more substantive dialogue to take place, it is undoubtably the case that many interfaith programmes can and do engage with the most challenging issues confronting community relations. (If you like, you can read some of my reflections on what makes for effective interfaith here.) However, for now, I want to acknowledge that for many of us working in interfaith here in the UK, that the Israel-Palestine conflict is the rock on which so many initiatives founder. If it is true of us working in this space, it is hardly any wonder that for many non-interfaith professionals it is a challenge to find the words.
So, for now, I just wanted to share some reflections which have been percolating away over the years about what one might say at a time such as now. And to stress, what follows reflects my experience of working in the UK (specifically London) and I would caution against generalising my experiences into other contexts, particularly contexts where conflict is active.
I think that it is also important to say, that as an interfaith professional, I am interested in how interfaith processes can be applied to address issues and problems confronting a community. For that reason, this piece is working from the assumption that we are interested in thinking about how to address the tensions which communities in the UK face as a consequence of what happens in Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories and Gaza.
In my experience, the starting point must be an acknowledgement that what happens between Israelis and Palestinians over there, has a profound impact on individuals here. For many people, the significance of Israel and Palestine is interwoven into their personal identity deeply and profoundly. This is particularly true of Jewish people living in the UK, but by no means limited to them.
For that reason, in my experience, beginning by asking people — particularly those who might have a personal connection to the conflict — how they are (“How are you doing?”), acknowledging that people here are going to be experiencing all kinds of complex emotional responses (“I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now”), and offering words of support (“If there is anything which I can do for you, please just say”) is key. These words can be spoken to friends and those around us, or written, in newsletters, texts, messages and social media, potentially to people we have never met before.
At this point, someone might say, “OK Josh, I see that, but I want to raise my voice about the injustice which I see (perceive?), I want to speak out about the violence which I have seen”. And to be clear, interfaith dialogue can and must be a vehicle for those voices to be heard. Afterall, interfaith spaces cannot exist without difference, and therefore those spaces must be capable of holding those differing and potentially diametrically opposed positions. However, to get to that point, in my experience trust must be built. Beginning with those very different views will rarely lead to trust being built, or — and this is the crucial point for those wishing to express those strong feelings — the other person being able to hear those strong, different ideas being said.
It is my experience that when people do want to talk about the Israel-Palestine conflict what many people want is to have their voices heard. This is obviously in addition to wanting a resolution to the conflict which gives both Palestinians and Israelis what they need. So if being heard is important, it’s crucial that efforts to build trust are made from the outset. That means making genuine efforts to listen to the needs (“How are you doing? I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be? Let me know if I can do anything.”) of the other, however painful or difficult to me that might be. And it goes without saying that those efforts to listen must go in both directions (assuming that there are only two parties to the conversation) — I must be prepared to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to me.
It is also true that for many people the challenge of talking about Israel-Palestine — and therefore the impact of that conflict on people here in the UK — is partly a reflection of how intimate the connection is between that part of the world and many peoples identities, and partly because of the complexity of the issue itself (again, at this point, some might say “Josh! It’s not complex! It’s really simple!!” In which case, I would reply, in your experience it is simple, in the experience of others it is not, and we all of us need to be prepared to hear why we might each think differently on this point). For these reasons, in my experience, slowing down the dialogue process so that people have a chance to listen to one another is absolutely vital.
There is of course much more to be said about the impact of the conflict on communities here, and of course about the conflict itself, that is for another time. However, to end, I would encourage everyone who cares about community relations here, to take the time to listen to one another, particularly to listen to the voices of those different to ourselves. Social media is not the place to do this, but think about interfaith organisations, especially local interfaith groups. These organisations and groups will have, for many years, been cultivating relationships across lines of difference and are therefore likely to have the skills, confidences and networks to enable the kind of dialogue which encourages listening by all.
Thank you for taking the time to get his far. I hope that you have found it useful, or thought-provoking. I would love to hear what you think!
