This is my cover letter.

Dear to whom it may sir or madam,

This is my cover letter. Ignore the first sentence. It is meaningless. This cover letter will attempt to be both humorous and professional, and contains words and phrases designed to showcase my vocabulary without being too preachy.

In this second paragraph, the cover letter will try to appeal to your sense of humor after the fairly professional tone of the first paragraph, which you may want to re-read now so that you are not confused by this humorous paragraph. I will make some sort of insidery jokes here about technology — perhaps a pun in an aside using em dashes — even though I don’t think technology is particularly funny.

  1. This is a bullet point
  2. I am using numbers to imply some sort of order to these.
  3. You may have looked at these first because bullet points are easier to digest.
  4. I hope you are not thinking too hard.

I am now done making bullet points. There are enough of them to show that I think in an organized manner. They could probably just be in another paragraph but they provide something to break up the dense grey areas. I add something here about my unique qualifications that are in no way unique because everyone applying for this job will have the same qualifications, because you designated them already.

This is a balancing paragraph because it is believed that cover letters should have no more than five paragraphs, but I’m not sure how bullet points work into that count. I will try to keep this sentence brief.

Closing remark and polite acknowledgement,

Lance Arthur