If I Knew Then What I Know Now
I wish that I could punch the freshman year version of myself in the face. Upon entering my freshman year of high school, I was told that I had three choices; to receive good grades, get enough sleep, or have a social life. I was warned that you were only able to pick two, so choose wisely. Also, I was informed that colleges do not look at the grades you earn during freshman year, so they basically do not count. I wish I could punch the person who told me that myth in the face, too. I am aware that this is not the case for everyone. I know the majority of people did try just as hard their freshman year as every other year, and I believe those people deserve the grades they got. I envy the people who are completely capable of successfully balancing all three choices.
During my freshman year, I chose to get enough sleep and have a social life, leaving getting good grades subsidiary to the other two. Sleep is an undeniable necessity in everyday life so I figured that was a given choice. Having a social life was something that I thought I was entitled to. I thought, “why shouldn’t I be able to hang out with my friends on the weekends? Homework should not impede my chances to hang out with my friends.” With high school comes more freedom, and the ability to have classes with all kinds of people, which exposes you to new people to befriend and hang out with. The naive fourteen year old me wanted to take advantage of every opportunity there was to hang out with all different kinds of people. I wanted to become involved in the high school, so I attended every sporting event that I could, not thinking about all of the homework that I still had to do. I had not realized how demanding school was, because all throughout middle school I was able to do my homework quickly, most of the time during class, and then I would have the whole afternoon to do whatever I wanted.
I figured getting good grades came tertiary to the previously mentioned choices because getting high honor roll in middle school came effortlessly to me, and your freshman year grades do not count anyway, right? Wrong. That is a conventional misconception that needs to stop being publicized for the sake of future freshman failures.
During middle school, I was able to handle all three choices, in addition to playing two sports. I guess that is what separates middle school from high school, because I approached freshman year the same way I managed all three years of middle school, and failed to achieve the same level of success, or any, for that matter.
Despite my unsatisfactory grades freshman year, freshman year was the best year of high school for me so far, and I am sure many others would agree. There was a lot less pressure during freshman year, because you still have your entire high school career ahead of you. There is even less pressure on you when you believe that your grades for that year do not count at all. I remember actually enjoying going to school during freshman year because school was actually fun. I always had the chance to see my friends during freshman year because I had almost every class with them, along with going to school sporting events and hanging out with them whenever possible. Although spending my time how I wanted may have come with some consequences, such as receiving inadequate grades, I would much rather take that freedom over being confined to my school work day in and day out.
Junior year is infamous for being the most stressful because it consists of constant studying, demanding workloads, preparing for the SAT, looking at colleges, the list goes on. I never once doubted that my junior year would be the most challenging year of them all. However, I was never told that I would have to stop doing the things I loved to do in order to do my school work. I had to quit playing volleyball, a sport I really enjoyed playing for 4 years of my life in order to do something I hated: school work. I joined clubs that I have no interest in for the sole purpose of impressing colleges in the future. My usual day during junior year consists of doing homework from the minute I get home until around five o’clock when I have to go to work, then get home around nine-thirty, then I have to finish up whatever homework I have left and go straight to bed. I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep each night. I am also lucky that I acquired a taste for coffee, or else there is no way I would have any energy throughout the day. I understood that junior year would be academically demanding, but never emotionally draining. It is only November, and I have no idea how I am going to survive the rest of the year. I come home every day completely exhausted, fighting back the urge to take a nap because I know I do not have any time in my schedule for naps. I dread getting up in the morning. School is no longer fun. I no longer see my friends because we all take different classes, and with a job now, I have no time outside of school for a social life. I have involuntarily made the choice to receive only good grades, instead of getting enough sleep or having a social life. I thought I was allowed to choose two? Apparently not during junior year.
I have become so invested in receiving exceptional grades in order to compensate for my inadequate ones freshman year. I completely regret spending my time freshman year the way I wanted to, even though I should have been able to, because I am facing the consequences of it now. At fourteen years old, you are still a kid. You should be going outside to play with friends and enjoying the beautiful weather instead of being stuck inside all day behind a computer doing homework. I am somewhat thankful that I made the mistake of being so careless my freshman year, because I know I will not make the same mistake in college. I still would like to go back in time and punch the freshman year version of myself in the face for being so irresponsible, but at the same time, how can I be mad at myself for simply acting like a kid?
