“Allies Who Are Not Allies”
“There was no ideological test going on here, it was purely practical. Person X could not internalize what my problem was, so all he did was work on a “solution” that was actually more harmful than if he had just walked on by. Person Y actually jumped in and helped me do what needed to be done.
And that’s what’s going on here. This isn’t about passing a purity test. This is about actions. Is someone helping? They are an Ally. Is someone complaining that their feelings are hurt because they are doing what they think I need and I am telling them it isn’t? Not an Ally.
If a hundred people had come by and all of them had not only suggested a tow truck but told me that it was the best and correct solution to my problem, even though it was a solution that I considered and rejected for perfectly rational reasons (because if I had had access to a couple hundred bucks, I would have called a tow truck myself and had it towed to my mechanics), by the hundred and first I would be saying “Can you help me push? A tow truck is out of the question” and if they stood there and argued with me about how a tow truck was indeed the best solution, I would then be saying “Help me push or f* off.””
