“Meet The Dominatrix Who Requires The Men Who Hire Her To Read Black Feminist Theory”
“Over time, Mistress Velvet said she began “doing a lot of theorizing” about the power dynamics of a black woman holding that kind of supremacy over a white cisgender man. She began introducing black feminist theory into her sessions with clients, who’ve told her their relationship in that space has impacted their behavior outside of it.
One client said he noticed he only held the door open for black women. Another, whom Mistress Velvet educated about the systemic oppression of black women, founded a nonprofit to support black mothers on Chicago’s South Side…
In terms of unpacking their way of fetishizing black women and stereotypes about black women, I ask them, “Why do you want to be in my presence, why do you find me attractive?” And sometimes they might say things that then remind me of stereotypes of black women ― like a jezebel or something ― so I’ll have them read a piece about how what they said is related to this historic phenomenon about thinking about black women. I say, “Here are its roots. Here’s why it’s problematic.” That way, I can say, you can idolize me, but we need to have it be done in a way that isn’t also problematic…
One of the chapters that I wrote [for my thesis] was a little bit about my work as a dom, but also just generally the idea of BDSM as a space where we could really work through a lot of the stuff that we experience. So what I mean by that is what kind of emotional, mental and social benefits could be cultivated in a space where a black woman is dominant over a white man? What kind of benefits does that have in our lives?”
