Empathy is not enough on its own — feedback is a crucial element of effective communication
When people talk to each other at work or outside, you sometimes hear in conversation: ‘I see,’ ‘I understand,’ ‘I hear what you’re saying.’ The truth is though most people, if they aren’t trained to react differently, will be thinking of their own answer before even hearing half of what the person is trying to say. There can be a real silent battle between people who want to respond and explain their opinion without taking the time to truly listen the speaker’s view.
True listening is rarely something we have been taught to do. It requires 100% of our attention. Meaning no lack of eye contact, non verbal behaviour is trained towards the person we interact with, no distractions or lack of attention. It is even harder today to achieve this without practice as electronic devices are omnipresent. Alongside this the human attention span is down to 8 seconds, which is actually less than the 9 second attention span of a Goldfish. There are serious issues standing in the way of good listening.
With time and experience, some people naturally include the phrases mentioned above in order to be more polite, but quickly or instantly follow these with: ‘I understand but I still think…’ ‘I see what you’re saying only I believe…’ Being able to really understand the person’s view requires one important first step, to re-phrase. This means once we hear something, re-phrasing what we understood and asking the person if this was what they actually meant.
In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), one crucial element to accept and incorporate into our thinking process is that every individual has a unique ‘map of the world,’* ‘map of the reality’ within themselves. This means that if we assume what we heard is what the person meant, the chance of misunderstanding is more than likely to happen.
Every person’s ‘map’ is different due to various filters individuals have. Those filters are built from different factors such as our attitudes, values, believes, memories and personality preferences. No two individuals will have the same map, which requires making an effort to understand another human being.
A second element that needs to be integrated is being empathic or compassionate which are two different behaviours. The first one is to sense and imagine the emotions, while compassion goes one step further by ‘suffering together,’ by feeling the emotions. To understand another person asks us to be empathic towards another human being, which doesn’t require us to be emotionally connected. Being able to stay an observer and as emotionally neutral as possible allows for an analytical perspective.
It is also one of the many human contradictions that one of the major reasons people do not like their job is communication-related. People are unsatisfied about the lack of efficient communication within their company, but we actually have the solution within us. From a business point of view this brings real challenges for a wide range of industries, as humans are still the primary resource of most companies and this is even more the case within the design industry.
Companies focusing on developing efficient communication and empathy as two of their core pillars of their business, create environments where people have the time to talk and be truly listened to and heard. It doesn’t mean their opinions/options will always be selected, but it means they will be considered which will bring a sentiment of inclusion.
For the past few years, the word ‘empathy’ inside the work environment, has popped up everywhere, and especially within a designer’s job description. Nevertheless the real meaning behind it, and how recruiters actually analyse if someone has this ability or potential, is very vague. From the nature of the business and how brands have to connect and reach different audiences; it seems vital for a designer to have the capacity to not only follow their tastes, but also try to see different perspectives in order to bring more creativity and sensitivity to their work.
Branding agencies, as well as other businesses, can use different tools to set a place where people develop their listening skills and learn or grow their capacity of how and when to be empathic. The main ones are creating group activities to strengthen connections, giving access to reading on those topics, encouraging information sharing. Another tool most of us avoid, but which is actually the most efficient, feedback.
Reading or hearing this word can make our heart skip a beat and a growing sensation inside the stomach can appear. Indeed, this is due to a misuse of this concept. If a business manages to implement a culture of giving and receiving feedback with the aim of always being respectful and helpful, misunderstanding and assumption will be greatly reduced. It’s also been shown, if well implemented, feedback increases the respect and trust within the business, raises the motivation and effectiveness of employees, which can considerably improve the performance of the business.
Feedback is a process of performance management and unfortunately, this is often used negatively. However, it has been shown that by actively approving and encouraging behaviours the company would like to see more of people evolve and adapt within the framework established by the business. By applying feedback as something as normal as breathing within a business culture it allows people to be sincerely empathic towards the individual they give the feedback to. As these individuals will not want to receive poorly-delivered feedback themselves, they are encouraged to consider what the person’s reactions and feelings might be and adjust the discussion accordingly.
Within the design industry, this aspect of feedback is even more present during each project, the different rounds of feedback within the team and from clients to create the best outcome is absolutely crucial. Designers have to be able to adapt their work and because every creation is a representation of their talent/art, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain distance and dissociate personal emotions to reach the client’s needs.
Having employees able to adjust their behaviour, communications and creations to their audience by being empathic, knowing how to handle feedback while using true listening skills, brings a real advantage in today’s market. Research shows companies from all sizes struggle with communication breakdown from both an internal or external point of view.
The motto ‘assume nothing, question everything’ is a crucial state of mind to incorporate into our thinking process, especially when working with clients. Getting under the skin of each client is important in order to discover what they need versus what they think they need. This enables more efficient understanding so that the creative team can be briefed accordingly, and ensure the project progresses in the best way possible. When discussing the clients vision, using an active listening approach allows you to truly understand and anticipate what will help their business strategy on a short and long term plan.
When clients feel heard and see positive results from the outcome of a project, it builds trust and creates a strong sustainable relationship. Having the strength to ask often probing questions with the appropriate listening attitudes will encourage clients to reflect on aspects of their business that they hadn’t previously considered. By being challenged in the right way it creates new perspectives and possibilities for their business. Also, by bringing feedback into client meetings it will give the team better awareness of their sentiment towards the project as a whole, so that it can be anticipated and managed accordingly.
There are different models of feedback businesses can use and as mentioned previously, there are various tools to develop communication efficiency, increase a company’s productivity and sometimes we tend to forget the basics. Without strong, stable and well implemented bases, neither Pyramids, Sigiriya or the Parthenon would have been able to last all those years.
Learning to truly listen, re-phrase what was understood, showing empathy while doing so and giving feedback when a behaviour of someone has a positive or negative impact, provides an incredible asset to your team and personal life. Positioning a company to encourage people to learn true listening skills and how to provide constructive feedback, is one of the first steps to see major improvement within every business. It is even more relevant within the branding industry as client needs and expectations can be met with more efficiency and better creative solutions.
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Words: Blandine Oller Perret
Blandine is a Account Manager at Interstate.
