Seek the beginning, not the end. — GoT Logion 18
breathe in + breathe out
His students said to him,
“So, tell us, then,
what our end and
destiny will be?”
“Have you already discovered your origin
so that now you are free
to seek after your end?
It is only at your source
that you will find your destiny.
Blessed are those who come to stand
in their place of origination,
for it is there that they will know their end -
never tasting death.”
Reflection: O, the human obsession with death and how it all ends. You can see it and read it and watch it and feel it everywhere.
Like, pretty much everything on television.
Like, uploading our consciousness onto a computer server to live forever in the cloud.
Like, the development of “eternal life” nanotech for these bodies of ours.
All driven by fear and not enough.
It may not be the nanotech and consciousness upload extremes that we’re stuck in. For us, maybe it’s this day,
this situation in this relationship,
this billing cycle,
these times of ongoing discord and disconnect,
How’s it going to end!?!
And the invitation comes.
It’s the same invitation we’ve been hearing since Logion 1.
Be still for a moment.
Don’t seek after knowledge of an end so that you can micromanage and manipulate, or give in and despair, with this present.
Seek out the beginning. Seek out your origin
Let go, and listen deeply.
To your body. Your spirit.
Through layers of fear and habit.
Through past pains and pleasures.
Into and beyond the truamas.
Even before that first embodied trauma of the birth canal.
Into the layers of ancestors.
Into the dirt.
Into silence. Mystery.
To the place of beginning — where we finally see what has been hidden in front of our faces the whole time. Enough.
Play and Rest.
We can spend all kinds of time — a lifetime even -
clawing after a future, or foreboding and fleeing it.
Or we can learn to settle into
the inconceivable gift of “What is.”
This is the journey, and we get to make it together.
A journey of becoming undone and Becoming again.
It’s okay to be afraid. Fear lights healing’s path.
Listen. Move towards with compassion.
And, be gentle.
Take good care or yourself and one another as you journey today
Lynn Bauman’s translation and commentary are the primary source for these Gospel of Thomas reflections.