Unforgivable sin, irrevocable moments — GoT Logion 44
breathe in + breathe out
*
logion 44
You may speak against the Father,
and it will be forgotten.
You may speak against the son,
and it will be dropped.
But if you speak opposing
the sacred Spirit,
that is irrevocable
both in heaven and on earth.
**
Reflection:
Some in the church called this,
the “unforgivable sin.”
I remember reading these lines.
They, like most other sayings in the Gospel of Thomas,
are contained in the canonical gospels as well.
In this case, you can find them
in Matthew, Mark and Luke.
I remember reading these lines
and, filled with adolescent literalism and fear,
asking myself if I had already offended.
I remember trying hard to control my mind.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
But, as they say, prohibition creates desire.
Mix that with a teenage
(or human for that matter) impulsiveness
and a blossoming rebelliousness,
and I’ll be damned if my brain didn’t say,
I reject you, Spirit. Darn you. (I would have said darn, because I wasn’t swearing yet. Like I said, my rebelliousness was just blossoming.)
There it is. It’s done. I’m done.
Thirteen years old, and just waiting
for an eternity in Hell, I guess…
But I’m older now.
I’ve lived enough life in this hell
we’re creating on Earth
to see
the truth and the lie of these words
The lie is easy to recognize.
Maybe you, too, are so over
the manipulations of those fear-driven,
self-worshipping churches
(or board rooms, political offices, dominant culture, etc.).
Maybe you’ve walked away from the
adolescent, condemnation-obsessed,
fantasizing of white-bodied, mostly male,
empire maintenance. That’s good.
But chances are
no matter how you identify –
socialist, capitalist, anarchist,
none, done, Wiccan, or whatever –
you’re still speaking irrevocable words
rejecting Spirit
or however you understand
this Power and Call
to create Now responsibly
with Love
We do this each irrevocable moment
we spend in the confinements
of Spirit-less stories
Stories like
impossible
lost cause
and
What’s the point?
I’m too old
too young
and
they’re the ones, not me
Collectively, it sounds like
too big to fail
that’s how we’ve always done it
and again
trust the process
And walking away is not the only way
we utter the irretrievable.
The Spirit is denied every time
we believe
it’s all on me to fix this
and
my way or the highway
So what do we do?
We whose knees are calloused
from genuflecting at Never Enough’s altar…
It’s simple.
Stand up.
Then stop.
Breathe
Inhale Spirit. Exhale impossible.
Since January of this year, for stretches of 3–4 days at a time, I’ve been staying with water protectors in Omaa Akiing and northern Minnesota. I was last there in June with my two children. It was the same week that the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources granted Enbridge permission to take 5 billion gallons of Minnesota water (100 times what Enbridge projected would be needed when they begin their tar sands oil pipeline project) during the middle of this continuing historic drought.
Those of us who have been fighting for the water (and the present and future of all living things) have been dealt blow after disappointing blow of injustice. State agencies including the DNR, commissions and departments of Governor Walz’ administration, and the Governor himself — time after time, bowing down to the Never-Enough corporate greed of a foreign oil company. Law enforcement agencies protecting Enbridge’s drills and spills (like this one just over a week ago) instead of the people.
The punches keep coming for water protectors and all of us. They’re coming from so many directions. Corrupt corporations. Inept and self-serving politicians. Even mainline “progressive” church institutions — bowing down to nostalgia, not seeing the Spirit alive outside its walls
Makes you want to throw up your hands and say, “F#$% it.”
And certainly, this is something we do with some of the moments we’re gifted. But I’ve seen the tide turning.
At camp, I’ve seen it in the attention practiced around a fire by a handful of water protectors, from Leech Lake, France, Hawaii, and Burnsville, as they, with small knives, debarked twigs to make a traditional Ojibwe fish trap. The Spirit was pulsing in their fingers and corneas, and in their laughter.
I know it in the song — Nibi Gee-Zah-gay-e-goo (Water, we love you…), sung to the Willow River, currently suffering from Enbridge’s frac-out leaking drilling mud and chemicals into the water. I see it in tears leaking from loving eyes.
I hear it in the prayer my five-year-old niece, Solveig, left on my voicemail. She had just read “We are Water Protectors” by Carole Lindstrom. She asked for courage to fight the black snake.
Attention and prayer. Being here. In this body. In this place. With these beings around and within us. Now. Risking Love.
The courage to be present and the commitment to practicing it.
This is how we turn away from uttering irrevocable words and wasting irretrievable moments. Being here. Being now. Being with.
I don’t know your word for — or how you understand — Spirit, but I know there is a power greater — beyond and within us — an Aquifer of Enough that is ready to give us what we need in this moment. Right now.
Instead of throwing up my hands, I can open them to receive the Enough this moment calls for and provides. I can dare to trust in Love and Spirit, even in the midst of the hell-crafting in which so many of us are seemingly stuck.
Stop. Breathe. Rest.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
I surrender to Love
I open to Wonder
I offer myself to Possibility
I feel the River coursing
through this Body
in this Moment
The Spirit is waking Us
We are a Flood of Enough
Peace and Breath, friends
