Why Intertwine? A Skeptic Explains.
Post contributed by Lindsey Graff
I never planned on starting a church. Or helping to start a church. Or even going to a church. I grew up in a pretty nice church community but one where I never really felt connected to the stories I was hearing. It was nice to hear about Jacob and his 57 (or whatever) sons and about Moses, The Prince of Egypt (“There can be miraclessssss…”), but there was never really much discussion of how that connected to my life. Growing up, I spent a lot of time thinking about my future career as a broadway star, boys, 90s pop music, and waxing poetic about my future life in the big city. Talk about Jesus seemed like something for old people or like…those weird people who wear shirts that say “Jesus is my boyfriend” (sorry, those people.)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuMI2R79U7c]
I went to a Lutheran college (Auggies, WUT) where I took Religion 100 and 200. I studied the five major world religions, watched the terrifying documentary Jesus Camp, and was bombarded with news stories about racist evangelicals, homophobic Catholics, and Islamic extremists. The result was pretty severe agnosticism. Since college, when I think about church and Christianity, I mostly think about judgmental white people and uncomfortable chanting.
That said, as a young Minneapolis professional, I do sometimes think about how nice it once was to be part of a small town church community where even if the stories didn’t really connect, at least the people did. There are so many people I met through church growing up who I am still connected with today — people who I really care about and who genuinely care about me. Outside of college and work friends, it’s become a lot harder to find that sense of community. I’ve realized over the past few years that the community feel is a fair enough reason for church to be a thing — at least if it wasn’t for all the BS aspects of Christianity and religion.
For full disclosure, here are some of the things I find difficult about Christianity and many other world religions:
- People take the religious texts literally, which is absurd for numerous reasons
- People use the word “faith” to ignore scientific evidence for convenience or as an argument against ignorance
- People use religion to make people close to them feel shameful about their choices
- People and groups use religion to feel different and better than other people causing all kinds of war and subjugation
Yet, aside from seeking a sense of community in my young adult life, I also think a lot about how to be a good person. I read books about mindfulness, practice yoga on an irregular basis, meditate from time to time, and try to accept myself and the people around me. At night, I lay down in bed and try to list the things and people I’m grateful for. Sometimes, I even send wishes out into the universe — I ask for relief for people I know who are hurting, happiness for my friends and family, peace for people all around the world. I wish for racial justice and economic fairness. I hope people who are hungry will be fed. I hope all kids will get a fair shake in life. And yeah, I ask the universe to help me live more healthfully, perform well at work, and sometimes just to help me get out of bed on time.
It’s weird because from what I understand, that’s a lot like praying and being a religious person…except it’s not Jesus-y. At least in the ways I have seen Jesus-y, Christian stuff exhibited in the past.
I don’t have any of the answers about god, the universe, why we’re here, why bad things happen, and lots of other topics I spend a lot of time thinking about. Just questions.
So why am I a part of Intertwine?/Why am I writing this?
I usually live my values/hopes/dreams in ways that look different than “church” or whatever this Intertwine thing is. I try to be politically engaged, I have deep conversations with friends, my partner, and our families. I challenge myself to consider perspectives different than my own and I read a lot of books. Yet, when my dear friends Laura and Seth approached me about helping with some marketing ideas for Intertwine, I said I’d come to one meeting and give my two cents.
At our meeting, Laura and Seth introduced me to Mike and I was like, “Hey pastor guy. How Jesus-y is this going to be?” He didn’t wince or really even blink. Surprisingly, he gave me an extremely thoughtful answer about how the community he/they are building would be about discussing life questions, listening to each other’s stories, and experiencing faith/religion/God however each of us individually wants to. We talked about how meaningful I find therapy sessions vs church services, how valuable I’ve found readings about shame resilience, how hard it is to be a woman, how mad I am about racial inequality, how much I care about education, and lots of other stuff. Mike and the team embraced these thoughts and all my questions with more questions and thoughtful stories about shared experiences. I enjoyed our first meeting so much, I have continued to attend team meetings to help with marketing and to simply be with these interesting, helpful, fun people. It sometimes feels vulnerable and uncomfortable, but not in the way that church usually does. It seems meaningful.
“Lindsey, why should I care?”
Glad you asked. I wrote this post because a lot of my friends who I’ve been talking to about Intertwine are super skeptical. They don’t want to talk about God/god or the universe or whatever and that’s really fine. That said, I was the same way and have so far been enjoying the conversations Intertwine has brought my way. I admit, it’s un
comfortable and a bit scary. Actually, I’ve really struggled to write this blog post because it’s hard and really nerve-racking to talk and write about something as personal as religion. What if people disagree with me? What if I offend people? What if they judge me? But one of the things I’m learning is that being vulnerable and opening up sometimes feels really good. It’s freeing to express my thoughts and ask these questions with people who I know will listen and respond thoughtfully and respectfully.
By being involved in this community, I’m trying to grow as a human by talking about my skepticism and the challenges I have with religion, Christianity, politics, and life in general. So far it has been exciting to have a “third space” to openly discuss these difficult topics even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable and scary. To anyone who has read through this post and thought, “I can relate” — I would encourage you to come to an Intertwine event or just to follow us online. No one will try to tell you our approach is the best approach to “church” or try to sell you on an individual ideology. If you’re interested in a place where you can meet new people, share perspectives, and sometimes ask difficult questions, I (and all of us at Intertwine) want to meet and learn from you.
