10 LIFE EXPERIMENTS TO COMBAT DESPAIR THAT ACTUALLY WORK

1. Imagine that you’re already dead.

Once you put yourself into the dead category, you’ll be able to carry out the bravest of life’s challenges. The reason is simple: imagining yourself dead effectively kills your ego, deletes your sense of shame and snuffs out your toxic self-doubt. It frees your soul and allows your mind to create and spin exciting new possibilities. Since you’re already dead, you have nothing to lose. This exercise can help you carry out scary life challenges like: asking someone for a date, self-publishing a book, entering a contest, giving a speech, revealing a hidden, dark secret, taking a journey to a new place, or confessing your love to someone. The key is to dive deep inside yourself and discover what scares the crap out of you. Imagine yourself dead, then do that scary thing.

Tip: Thinking and doing are two different things. Don’t kill yourself.
Real World Example: I used this method in order to gain courage to release my first book.

2. Imagine you have only one day left to live.

Once you convince your mind that this day is all you have left, you’ll notice a dramatic shift in your mindset. Despair will lift and be replaced with gratitude. Suddenly, you’ll feel grateful for everything and your body will swell with good feelings. You’ll start to notice things you haven’t seen in years like the way wind blows the tree branches or how the moon’s surface looks. You’ll naturally extend thanks to people who cross your path because you’ll realize it’s the last time you will see them. You’ll think of your life’s work. You will wonder what you have created on this earth. You’ll be reminded of all the projects you started in life, but never finished. You will try to finish one of them today.

Real World Example: Instead of watching videos last night, I suggested to my daughter that we take a walk outside. At the end of the walk, as we both stood in a field, looking up at the stars, she asked, “Can the moon hear me?” This moment felt like my last moment on earth because we were the only ones out at that late hour and my senses were completely clear.

3. Ask yourself this question: “What would I do today if I truly loved myself?”

When you come up with the answers, go do those things. Remember, you don’t actually have to love yourself in order to do this experiment. You only have to pretend to love yourself for one day. This exercise allows you to set aside mental troubles and focuses on giving yourself something life-enhancing. It could be anything. It allows you to see yourself as an object of love instead of loathing. This experiment works really well for people who neglect themselves on a regular basis. It can help carve out new mental pathways for the creation of long-term well-being.

Real World Example: I made a video about how I felt I was being mistreated at my job: https://youtu.be/iImCjNzBCJA Once I watched the video and could see how I was being mistreated, I realized I didn’t love myself. After this awareness, I made a plan to quit this job and find a new job.

4. Discover then write down your own solution to a life problem.

Each person on the planet is unique and has a unique set of life problems. All of us have solved life problems in our own unique ways, but very few of us are aware of these solutions. Our consumerist society has groomed us to not trust our own problem-solving abilities. Our society wants us to buy products to solve our problems. And many people have become so dependent on others that they have forgotten how to solve their own problems. There is a wealth of knowledge deep inside every person on the planet. Dig it! Mine it! Dig deep, discover a life problem that you solved on your own, then write it down. You can then share your solution with others by posting it on Medium.com, your blog or sell it to a publication.

Real World Example: I overcame alcoholism without joining AA. I made YouTube videos to delve deep into how I did this: https://youtu.be/l4wOmUHkigE A woman left a comment on my video, “You should write a book about how you overcame alcoholism.” Four years later, I wrote it.

5. Go on an adventure instead of going to your job.

If you hate your job and are filled with despair each morning, this experiment is for you. The next time your body gives you a strong negative signal in the morning before work, call in sick. Then, the first thing you need to do is hack away at your guilt. You won’t have a rewarding day if you’re feeling guilty. After your guilt has dissipated, you need to tap into your deepest desires. Ask yourself what you’d love to do today, then attach giant sonar ears to your head so you can hear what your heart tells you. Then, actually do what your heart wants. If your heart wants to do several things, commit yourself to the ones you’re most afraid of. Kamal Ravikant says, “magic lies on the other side of fear.” Make your day really count. Make it life-changing. Do something you wouldn’t normally do. That way, you create the most value from your time.

Real World Example: The other day I felt bad and didn’t want to go to work. I called in sick. Then I made a list of things my heart wanted to do. The scariest thing it wanted me to do was find a person who would inspire me to do greater things. After several attempts, I found that person who agreed to let me interview him. I found him randomly. His name is DJ Many. He was recently featured in Inc. Magazine.

6. Write about one of your most vulnerable moments in life and then release it to the world.

This experiment is designed for people who are socially isolated. Many times, when you’re experiencing higher than normal levels of despair, you begin to withdraw from society. Or, you might be going through a major life shift, and you realize that many of your friends are toxic. So, you start withdrawing from them. Either way, you feel like you’re alone. You need new friends who are better for your well-being. The way to find those new friends is to begin revealing your struggles and vulnerabilities in a public way. The people who will react to your story will be similar to you. They may become your new friends. It feels really difficult to do this especially if you’re feeling low, but trust me, this is the best thing to do in order to feel connected to others in a deep way.

Real World Example: After I released my first book, I got to know one of my readers who felt very passionate about my work. Since I revealed my dark secrets in my book, I know he is resonating with my true self. I’ve found a new friend.

7. Start to recognize your gatekeepers.

Nearly everyone has a gatekeeper. For most people, it is their boss at work. But anyone/anything can be a gatekeeper: your spouse, the media, the past, Hollywood, your social status in high school, your abuser, your pimp, your childhood, your occupation, your grades, teachers, addictions, the news, insecurities, fears, poverty or your own mind. Your gatekeepers prevent you from experimenting to find out who you really are. You give power to your gatekeeper and in return, your gatekeeper controls you. Many people are unaware that they have a gatekeeper and may just think that’s the way the world is. But, if you are not free, then you have a gatekeeper. Who are your gatekeepers?

Real World Example: I realized that my gatekeeper was my ex-boss. Then I came to understand that my other, more insidious gatekeepers are: PTSD and my misguided belief that my creativity cannot be turned into monetary wealth. Awareness is leading me on the path of solving the problem.

8. Forgive yourself for being naive, an idiot, or anything that causes shame.

Take a deep breath, and realize that you’ve been through some shit. Give yourself what you give to others: the space and time to relax, decompress and gradually reinvent. Getting through a trauma will take a sufficient amount of time, especially if you’re a sensitive person. Give yourself time. If you try to rush through recovery, it will fail. Shame can be pretty damaging and you need plenty of time to let this toxic emotion drain out of your system. Be kind to yourself. I know it’s really hard to do, but try it. You don’t have to be kind to yourself every day, just try it out once in awhile as an experiment. When you learn to be kind to yourself, you will naturally be kind to others. I’ve witnessed this happen in my own life.

Real World Example: I had to forgive myself for choosing a bad person to get involved with. It’s taken me several years to truly forgive myself, but I’m on the path of recovery now. I learned my lesson and will not make that same mistake again.

9. Find a mentor online.

Take full advantage of the internet and go out and find a person or people who you would like to emulate. Even if you’re well past middle-age, it doesn’t matter. If you want to improve yourself or your life in any way, find someone whom you respect and start emulating them. Get rid of your low self-opinion, and begin adopting some traits that your mentors have. Nowadays, you can have mentors without bugging them. Learn all about your mentor so when you’re ready to contact them in real life, you’ll be highly educated about their attributes, habits and preferences.

Real World Example: I chose James Altucher several years ago because I respect the kind of work he does and the way he expresses his truth. I have several other mini mentors who introduce me to tools and methods on a regular basis. Finding mentors online has truly revolutionized my life and decreased my feelings of despair.

10. The next time you go on social media, help 5 people.

Most of the time we go on social media to get attention, express an opinion, get our ego stroked or connect with someone. I go on social media for those reasons, as well as other reasons. I’m building an online author/artist business and I use social media to connect with people in an authentic way. This relationship-building I do on social media translates into people buying my books. But I’m interested in social media for other reasons, too. As a way to diminish my ego, I sometimes go on social media in search of people to help.

Resist posting anything personal, and just go onto your favorite social media site looking for people to help. You will be amazed by how good you’ll feel.

Real World Example: In my Choose Yourself Facebook group, I believe I was able to help several people by giving them some good tools and ideas to help them on their path. After I do this kind of unselfish giving of good information, I feel much better internally. Sharing knowledge has this ultra good effect on my psyche.

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I’m the author of Un-Crap Your Life.