If I could be her
I see her in my mind sometimes,
grown graceful in age, in acceptance,
a gentle smile playing kindly
on her self-assured face
A lighthouse signalling respite,
she stands firm against stormy seas,
ready with the will and the idea
to forge a solution
I see her in my mind sometimes,
a Her I once thought I would be,
shining now in brief flashes
of imagined memories
I blink back tears of peace
as I awaken to my sordid reality,
bound insolubly to hearth and house
Fear reclaims pride of place,
exulting in trembling nerves
while anxious eyes search
for the direction of the next blow
the next sacrifice,
cut from my flesh —
flesh made willing
by the promise of pain withheld
She appears, peeking between
the tatters of my soul,
a red flag of possibility
I raise my eyes to meet hers
and she moves impossibly far away,
my very own pocket mirage
I sigh, lower my eyes,
and crawl back
into my makeshift armour,
wait for the next dream
of a future
I let him rip out of me
A response to Terijo’s beautiful prompt and her wise words.
