Trauma and Love, to Terijo
Desire burning
deep in me
deep in my mind
deep in my flesh
deep in my bone
to have
to take
to penetrate
to possess
to make the other mine
Haunted I am
by the desire
the impulse
the need
the driving urge
traumatized
shocked stressed wounded
enslaved by the urge
urgent need
crazy demand
from hormonal hunger
take and take again
Keep the other silent
hidden under a blanket
of shame and ambitious hope
Olympic Games versus justice
gold medal versus permanent stigma
Speak your trauma
And you will be annihilated
sidelined rejected repudiated
blackballed and blacklisted
suffer and accept the suffering
The other as the forced agreeing victim
and my pleasure is satiated
and the other’s success
is credited to Me, Myself and I
and Me, Myself and I is
the only heart of the matter
the other others don’t count
let them get the medal
and disappear in the jungle
And I, Me, Myself and I,
will carry in my soul
my traumatizing trauma forever
till Me, Myself and I
is lowered into Cain’s tomb
some eternal prison
the eye of my guilt
looking at my rotting body
and decaying soul
Desire burning
deep in me
me deeply in it
deep in my mind
my mind deeply enchained
deep in my flesh
my flesh deeply scarified
deep in my bone
my bone deeply castrated
to have
and have not
to take
and take not
to penetrate
and penetrate not
to possess
and possess not
to make the other mine
and make the other
my eternal haunting ghost
fossilized and lapidified
in my spoiled marred wrecked
recollected pleasure
recalled climax
remembered bliss
all turned to burning ash
in a forest
of vociferating
villified victims
avowing their plight
into a scourge of shame and guilt
Desire burning
deep in me
deep in my mind
deep in my flesh
deep in my bone
to have
to take
to penetrate
to possess
to make the other mine
for a blissful instant
of cumming perdition
in a wasteland of sterile
sexual loveless vanity
