FAMILY | CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
I Hate Pumpkin Pie…
…and other challenges of loving an American.
My mother hated Americans. Don’t ask me why — I don’t think there was any good reason for her rejection of an entire culture and its people, just like she had no good reason for hating Princess Diana, Martina Navratilova and Michael Flatley.
What’s interesting is that for a long long time, I adopted her prejudices without question. Maybe it’s because I was an only child and very close to her as a result, maybe because she wouldn’t accept being disagreed with, maybe because I had trouble seeing myself as a separate individual entitled to my own opinions.
Whatever the reason, I continued to believe she was right about things for far longer than I should have.
Thankfully, I did eventually start to think for myself, to the extent that I am now to all intents and purposes married to an American who has a wonderful extended family, and with whom I have a child who is a US citizen. Suffice it to say, I no longer hate Americans. There are, however, still challenges related to our cultural differences and disparate origins that we have to weather:
1. Language
Not a day goes by in our household when linguistic differences aren’t a topic of discussion. The linguistic chasm between British and American English goes far beyond zs where there should be an s, and nappies vs diapers. We had a disagreement that carried over several days about the difference between noodles and pasta. And don’t get me started on pigs in blankets.
2. Politics
The recent US election was a subject of many debates in our house, not least because I’m a big fan of the European brand of social democracy and my partner leans libertarian. On this, after too many debates that threatened to descend into real arguments, we have just agreed to differ.
3. Airports
Being a couple with transatlantic roots means our life is in one timezone and his family is in another. I have to put my hatred of airports to one side and embrace long haul flights with a baby. Shudder.
And on that note…
4. Immigration control
My partner sails through US passport control as I languish behind in the long queue of non-citizens to be harangued about why I am entering the country (to spend my tourist dollars and admire your beautiful country, ma’am) and how they can be certain I will leave again (because where I live there’s free healthcare and a functioning social security system, thanks).
5. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
Well, no lions or tigers. But where he comes from, there are indeed bears, and other scary animals like alligators and snakes, not to mention bugs and jellyfish that can actually kill you. He is a country boy at heart, while the closest I have ever been to anything wilder than a squirrel is the zoo. Guess which of us is going to be more useful in the apocalypse?
6. Pumpkin pie
My partner uncharacteristically decided to bake pumpkin pie from scratch for Thanksgiving last year. According to all the Americans we know, it was just as it should be, even a particularly delicious rendition of the classic dish. To me it tasted like solid pastry-encased vegetable curry. I hated it. With a passion.
By far the worst thing though…
…about being from opposite sides of the pond is the fact that we haven’t been able to visit his family this year, nor have any of them to visit us — especially upsetting since we have a new addition who is keen to meet his half-siblings. Hopefully this year all that will change and we can all be reunited.
They’d just better not make me eat pumpkin pie.
