AN OPEN LETTER

No One Needs You To Be Perfect

A message to those who refuse to love, accept, and forgive themselves

Elan Cassandra
Mar 11 · 3 min read

You know it’s impossible to be perfect, and still, there is this part of you that feels you must be.

You should be!

After all, you’re extremely competent. No, more than that. You excel at things. You put your best foot forward and you impress, and people know to expect the best from you.

So really, if anyone could be perfect, it would be you.

And if you could just be perfect, then you would be enough.

But you’re far from perfect.

Your imperfections make you feel like shit. Like a failure. Like maybe everyone would be better off without you.

There are, unfortunately, a couple of people already who know you aren’t perfect, and you’re pretty sure you’re weighing them down. They’re just too far in.

But fuck, you try so hard to be enough for them. And still, you know you’re not.

At least you have a lot of people who see just the veneer — the parts of you that you’ve deemed to be the best ones. And as long as you don’t slip up in front of them, they’ll never know.

They’ll never know you aren’t perfect like you should be. Could be. If you just tried a little bit harder…

All of those things feel true, but allowing them to be true for you is fucking up your life.

No, you are not perfect. You will never be perfect.

You won’t just make small mistakes; you’ll make big ones. You will fail at things that are massively important to you. You will hurt the people closest to you.

And you will not do those things because there is something inherently wrong with you, but because we all do these things.

I’m going to say it again.

Every single one of us on this planet — including the very best people with the best intentions and the most excellent practice — fuck up.

The question is, how are you going to deal with the fact that making messes of things is inevitable?

I wish I could answer that for you.

Instead, I’ll tell you some things I’ve found to be true.

Every person I care about is flawed.

When someone allows me in — lets me see the parts of themselves they are not proud of — I am gifted with the opportunity to understand them better and to connect with them more fully.

Even the very worst flaws have not led me to love someone any less or to think that they are a bad person.

But maybe you just are a bad person?

Look.

If you are concerned about the ways your actions impact others, if you want the best for them, if you want to make other people feel good and loved, and if you do try, then you are a good person.

That goodness is not canceled out by flaws or mistakes. (You know this because you know it’s true of other people. It’s true of you too.)

There’s a difference between acceptance and complacency.

Accepting yourself fully doesn’t mean that you don’t want to grow, change, evolve, and learn. You can and should still do all of that. We all should.

You are not too flawed to work on yourself.

You are not too flawed to love and accept yourself along the way.

And you’re not too flawed for other people to love and accept you too.

No one needs you to be perfect. They just need you.

Introspection, Exposition

Courageous, authentic, honest.

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Elan Cassandra

Written by

Writer and Writing Mentor. Screenwriter. Honest. Human. She/Her. @elancassandra on Instagram, @ElanCDuensing on Twitter. https://linktr.ee/elancassandra

Introspection, Exposition

Introspection, Exposition is a publication for writers who want to use their own voices to tell their unique stories, and for readers looking for contemplative and unconventional work. We feature brave personal essays, short fiction, humor, and more.

Elan Cassandra

Written by

Writer and Writing Mentor. Screenwriter. Honest. Human. She/Her. @elancassandra on Instagram, @ElanCDuensing on Twitter. https://linktr.ee/elancassandra

Introspection, Exposition

Introspection, Exposition is a publication for writers who want to use their own voices to tell their unique stories, and for readers looking for contemplative and unconventional work. We feature brave personal essays, short fiction, humor, and more.

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