The Gift of Forgetting: How Recovering Perfectionists Learn to Let Go

Sometimes healing looks like remembering less and breathing more

Photo by Dmitriy Frantsev on Unsplash

Forgetting used to feel like failure. Now it feels like freedom — a quiet sign of healing for recovering perfectionists learning to trust time again.

There was a time when forgetting something — anything — felt like failure.

The missed message, the unchecked box, the unfulfilled plan; each one echoed loudly in the mind of someone who built her worth on precision and reliability.

But recently, I forgot to give my child his medicine for the day.

That sentence alone would have sent the old me into a spiral — tight chest, guilt, endless mental rewinding. How could I forget that? What kind of mother forgets?

And yet, when I realized it later that evening, I didn’t unravel. I just sat quietly for a moment, acknowledged it, adjusted, and moved on. No harsh self-talk, no frantic rush to fix the “mistake.” Just presence.

It wasn’t neglect. It was a sign that my mind was beginning to exhale.